This site is my Happy Place, the spot where I throw glittered confetti as I squee over my kids and this sweet life I have happened upon. However, in this quest of keeping it light, I feel like such a fraud. In reality, I am quite impatient and quick to anger - anyone who hangs out with me in Real Life on a consistent basis knows this. Yes, I do think there is value in keeping things light around here on Rancid Raves - I want to remember the good stuff, not the fact that I often nag my kids and sometimes, sometimes, unleash my inner posessed soul that Screams in Tongues (or speaks in the Voice of Zuul, as my friend Jenny calls it)
Last week was one of Those Weeks. Every morning, I would wake up and declare a Fresh Start, determined to keep my impatience and crabbiness on high alert. By afternoon, I would fail. Miserably.
How do the kids react? Well, it depends. If they have actually done something wrong (say, for purposes of illustration, they have marked every door in our house with a bright! red! X! as if it were Passover (my special punishment for taking a shower?)), then the kids get their act together quickly. But the worst is when they have not really done anything wrong and I am just irritated. When I scream, they look away and ignore me because they know I am just plain crazy and that ignoring me is the most efficient escape route. As if to say, "Lady, you are insane and we know better than to engage."
I know that venting my anger is not healthy and actually serves little purpose. I want to be one of those perfect moms I keep reading about - the ones who do not get irritated when her kids are just being kids. The ones who have it all figured out. The ones with endless stores of composure. Dammit, I want all of the answers, too.
Anjali and Arun deserve it.