However! I had to comment on the McDonald's Deep Pockets Lawsuit. It seems, someone is suing McDonald's for the unforgivable crime of selling toys that lure kids into its heinous, greasy grasp (Totally Tangential! A fun Huffington post link for you! Yes, I have been sneered at in the past for reading Huffington Post. I know, I totally suck! Come to think of it, I seem to remember the same person who sneered at me for reading the Huffington Post had zero issues trucking her herd of progeny into McDonald's. So maybe we have a common ground now? *Meow* Where is my ball of yarn and box of sand?)
So! Kids are getting fat because McDonald's sells toys in its Happy Meals. Someone get the fucking smelling salts. Stat.
Yes! I love McDonald's cheeseburgers. I do. Seriously. I like mine plain with no ketchup (the devil's blood!) Although to be fair, McDonald's are my #2 favorite cheeseburger (Just after Five Guys who do not offer toys. Those bastards. However, they do offer jalapenos. Hence, the grand distinction of #1 in Kelli's Universe of Cheeseburgers) Yes...yes... Team Chaos has had a few cheeseburgers from McDonald's. There. I just admitted that out loud, in writing. Go ahead, pelt me with fresh grains, greens and fruits. I deserve it.
But! Since we are a No Beef, No Pork Household, I have scant remorse about stuffing my kids with a cheeseburger every now and then. They get a cheeseburger and a cup of water. And a toy. And truthfully? They get far more toys than cheeseburgers. And that? Is my particular beef with all this mess. (Yes, I just used a horrible beefy pun. Get over it.) Some jerkwad numbnuts wants to blame his porky progeny on the fact that a plastic novelty was included with his kid's Happy Meal. Ultimately, this asshole is simply ruining it for the rest of us who like to just purchase those trinkets without the benefit of the Happy Meal .
You see, that is the secret, folks:
You do NOT have to purchase a Happy Meal to get the toy.
It can be purchased separately for usually just $1 a piece.
Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. Shout it from the rooftops.
When we do McDonald's, it runs down like this for my kids: 2 cheeseburgers (no ketchup), 3 cups of water, 2 toys (1 girl toy, 1 boy toy).
The end. My kids do not need chocolate milk and we have regular milk at home. They do not need the nasty apples soaked in absorbic acid cancerkillingsourbittercrap. They do not need fries. They do not need apple juice. They eat their cheeseburger, they play with their toy. The end.
I have to confess that some of the toys are actually worth purchasing separately - The Madame Alexander Wizard of Oz toys, the Barbie toys, the Polly Pockets. In fact, we still play with telescopes from the Pirates of the Caribbean promotion in 2006 - the lights still work and the kids were hunting treasure just last week with them. Arg, matey!
Besides, I am doing my very best to protect them from Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. A few folks have aptly pointed out that loads of crap food is being marketed to our children - sans toys even, our children still get the message that something might be tasty when they see their favorite cartoon character emblazoned on the packaging of artificially-colored, over-sweetend cereal and "fruit" snacks that contain not an iota of real fruit.
The world cannot be saved in a day, folks.
Okay. Rant over. I need to sign off and scrounge up some Drano to clear out Arun and Anjali's arteries. After all, I would like it if they lived to see Kindergarten.
Keep your eye on the prize, Grasshopper.