November 9, 2008

Are you going to blog this?

I had a little chat with my sister Jill today.

Here is my version of events an accurate transcript totally appropriate for a deposition and all that other legal shit required for prosecution:

Kelli: I have been finding wee snippets of Anju's hair all over the house. Guess why?
Jill: Why?
Kelli: GUESS.
Jill: Ohhhhh..... Does he have access to scissors?
Kelli: Um, yeah.
Jill: Well, now you know.
Kelli: This was not helped by fact that X was laughing. Laughing! I showed X the hair that I had found and he said "Yeah, Arun's been cutting her hair." Good grief, I was starting to think that Anjali was losing her hair because of a nutritional deficiency.
Jill: Are you going to blog this?
Kelli: Of course.

At first, I just thought it was cat hair, which struck me as odd because the cats shed in the spring, not in the fall. But then. Um. I noticed that the hair was curly. CURLY. And that is when the Lazy Mom Panic set in. The panic where I worry that Maybe, Perhaps, I Do Not Worry Enough. I try not to fret too much about things- for example, what my kids happen to eat. But this? Was beginning to stir me into a frothy mess of Lazy Mom Guilt. Seriously, I was beginning to calculate whether Anjali was getting all of her vitamins, minerals and such. I mean, I was fairly certain that she could not be losing her hair due to stress, as she is definitely living the easy life over here. Dude, all she is missing is a royal court and jeweled tiara. Therefore, I concluded that she was losing her hair because I was STARVING her, poor baby.

And then? I show X the hair and he starts laughing and informs me that Arun has been cutting her hair.

Folks, I did not know whose ass to kick at that point.

Of course, the best part of all of this is that you cannot even tell exactly where Arun had been doing his best Ken Paves since her hair is such a mop of curls and tangles. Overall, the damage was minimal. Even though I was finding hair everywhere.

Anyway, I took the suspect to the basement dungeon and questioned waterboarded him until he confessed. Despite the fact that legal counsel was not present during this confession, I am confident it would still hold up in a court of law. Back me up on this, Innernets.

Interrogation


Interrogation from Kelli George on Vimeo.

9 comments:

Bethany said...

Don't be mad at him!! Cagey, how on earth did you not laugh right at him? He is sooo cute. Of course now you have to hide the scissors in case they accidentally find Anjali's hair again!

Average Jane said...

Too funny!

Chocolate Covered Susan said...

OMG - you made my evening! I love the videotaped confession! Thank goodness my boy is the younger one - experimental haircuts hopefully won't show too much on short boy hair.

Brit said...

I get 'you will not be mad' and then a stern look right before mine confesses to something. Also when I've told my four year old "I don't want to see that anymore" he has promptly replied "close your eyes!".

Kids......cute...and lucky.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

Hilarious!

He articulates really well! Generally I have a hard time understanding small children but I can easily make out what he's saying.

Also, am I on speed or does he have the slightest tinge of Brit-Indian accent?

PS: is she saying "cat" in the background?

elizasmom said...

Oh, these new video features are the BEST. Your kids are even cuter in sound and motion than in pictures. And this confession cracked me up because (while mine hasn't cut anyone's hair) she has offered similarly amusing confessions for misdeeds.

Wordnerd said...

Dude. I work for a prosecutor's office. Let me tell you, this will NEVER hold up. There's not a jury in the world that would convict him. The adorableness wins over the crime. Sorry. Hee!

(My son did the same thing, except he did it at daycare to a classmate -- who had really, really pretty long hair. Notice I said "HAD.")

Goofy Girl said...

He was totally framed!!! Didn't you hear the victim ratting on the the actual perpetrator in the background!??!

It was the CAT!!

LOL. Keep the videos coming!

Tina (www.the-miles.org) said...

That is too funny! When I ask my younger one why he's done something, he's started saying "Because dat wasn't a very good idea". Um, yeah.