December 29, 2004

Ever just make $hit up??

For all the comments about foreigners and minorities using incorrect English, I am witnessing an alarming amount of Vocabulary Fabrication in the workplace, by people who, shall we say, are in the Majority. It’s to the extent that sometimes I can’t even understand what these people are saying and they behave as if they are SO clever and intelligent when they use these ridiculous creations. Seriously.

Caveat: I can’t stand most of the people who invented/used the following examples. Maybe that colored my perception, but hey, this post wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining otherwise. Also, I can make all these rude comments since I am in the said Majority and Mr. X. is an immigrant of Indian extraction (known as a “fer’ner” in these here parts). Therefore, Rancid Raves has both camps covered. So there.

Irregardless: This is a common one, I know, but it still irks me.

Cull: "When we get those high-dollar culls......" I am being super-duper picky here, but the issue I have with this one is that for MONTHS, I thought these high-dollar culls were REJECTS - that is usually how this word is utilitzed (hence the definition of "to weed out"). When I brought this up at a meeting where the Major Offenders were in attendance, everyone looked at me blankly and blinkingly (cue in the high octave piano keys). I soon gave up on this one.

Sure Up: “Let’s sure up that software before we release it.” Um, Mensa Reject, how about SHORE up?

Disincent: “We need to disincent our users from sharing passwords.” I like that spellchecker suggested “disinfect” for this one. The dummy that used this word could use some of that.

Over-the-walls: “We will review the over-the-walls and get back with you.” I hear this and still can't rid of the image of Buster from Arrested Development trying to finish his last task so he could sneak into the Army.

One-Offs: “Well, when we get the one-off we can test it.”. Would it kill you to just say NEW VERSION or PATCH? No, it's not creative, but it is UNDERSTOOD.

Dialogue: “We can dialogue about that later”. Last time I checked, dialogue is a NOUN. Same goes for “parking lot”. Get with the program, people.

Have you heard any Vocabulary Fabrications recently that grate your nerves?


Rozanne said...

I hate the term "journaling." Journal is a noun and it should stay a noun.

Goofy Girl said...

A big term at my workplace is 'socialize', not in the human sense, but rather in the idea or concept sense. Usage: "Let's socialize that idea before we act on it." I keep imagining this little light bulb (my metaphor for 'idea') walking around shaking hands with everyone.

Grant said...

I overheard this on a conference call regarding a new software build:

“We had a release last night. I’ve had minimal perusal time on it.”

Kitty said...

I wrote a report yesterday that contained a category labeled "Action Items." It made me want to hit myself repeatedly about the head and neck. I think you know where I picked up *that* term...

Anonymous said...

This is your friend over at Surrender, Dorothy. I keep a running list of these in my PDA. Here it is:

pain points
parking lot
somewhat vague
touch base
on target
timeboxed because we're late
level set our expectations
socialize on a high level - when explaining something
lets talk about this when you get done talking
a lot of this is redundant, of course
massage the text
cow heart - get a heart, tin man
level-set our resources
broken molared- our computerless, online usability guru
lts a lot more than it really looks like
i'm still not very confident in these numbers
psychic axle
It's hard to assimilate with insanity
think outside the sandbox

Angie said...

I like the word "fictionary" to describe where these invented terms are created. Sure, that word doesn't exist either, but somehow that seems fitting...