December 29, 2004

Ever just make $hit up??

For all the comments about foreigners and minorities using incorrect English, I am witnessing an alarming amount of Vocabulary Fabrication in the workplace, by people who, shall we say, are in the Majority. It’s to the extent that sometimes I can’t even understand what these people are saying and they behave as if they are SO clever and intelligent when they use these ridiculous creations. Seriously.

Caveat: I can’t stand most of the people who invented/used the following examples. Maybe that colored my perception, but hey, this post wouldn’t be nearly as entertaining otherwise. Also, I can make all these rude comments since I am in the said Majority and Mr. X. is an immigrant of Indian extraction (known as a “fer’ner” in these here parts). Therefore, Rancid Raves has both camps covered. So there.

Irregardless: This is a common one, I know, but it still irks me.

Cull: "When we get those high-dollar culls......" I am being super-duper picky here, but the issue I have with this one is that for MONTHS, I thought these high-dollar culls were REJECTS - that is usually how this word is utilitzed (hence the definition of "to weed out"). When I brought this up at a meeting where the Major Offenders were in attendance, everyone looked at me blankly and blinkingly (cue in the high octave piano keys). I soon gave up on this one.


Sure Up: “Let’s sure up that software before we release it.” Um, Mensa Reject, how about SHORE up?


Disincent: “We need to disincent our users from sharing passwords.” I like that spellchecker suggested “disinfect” for this one. The dummy that used this word could use some of that.


Over-the-walls: “We will review the over-the-walls and get back with you.” I hear this and still can't rid of the image of Buster from Arrested Development trying to finish his last task so he could sneak into the Army.


One-Offs: “Well, when we get the one-off we can test it.”. Would it kill you to just say NEW VERSION or PATCH? No, it's not creative, but it is UNDERSTOOD.


Dialogue: “We can dialogue about that later”. Last time I checked, dialogue is a NOUN. Same goes for “parking lot”. Get with the program, people.

Have you heard any Vocabulary Fabrications recently that grate your nerves?


6 comments:

Rozanne said...

I hate the term "journaling." Journal is a noun and it should stay a noun.

Goofy Girl said...

A big term at my workplace is 'socialize', not in the human sense, but rather in the idea or concept sense. Usage: "Let's socialize that idea before we act on it." I keep imagining this little light bulb (my metaphor for 'idea') walking around shaking hands with everyone.

Grant said...

I overheard this on a conference call regarding a new software build:

“We had a release last night. I’ve had minimal perusal time on it.”

Kitty said...

I wrote a report yesterday that contained a category labeled "Action Items." It made me want to hit myself repeatedly about the head and neck. I think you know where I picked up *that* term...

Anonymous said...

This is your friend over at Surrender, Dorothy. I keep a running list of these in my PDA. Here it is:

pain points
parking lot
somewhat vague
touch base
on target
timeboxed because we're late
level set our expectations
socialize on a high level - when explaining something
lets talk about this when you get done talking
a lot of this is redundant, of course
massage the text
cow heart - get a heart, tin man
level-set our resources
broken molared- our computerless, online usability guru
ideate
lts a lot more than it really looks like
i'm still not very confident in these numbers
psychic axle
whatnot
assets
decks
It's hard to assimilate with insanity
think outside the sandbox

Angie said...

I like the word "fictionary" to describe where these invented terms are created. Sure, that word doesn't exist either, but somehow that seems fitting...