Vegetable Man

Pink Floyd, 1967

Sometimes, I wonder what my kids will think of this blog -- this spot I have designated as my happy place.  Will they roll their eyes at my posts that were obviously written in soft focus?  Will they remember all the times I screamed, got impatient with them or worse, lost my temper?  Or will they also view these times through the filter that time mercifully often grants us?

This past weekend, I decided to make a very conscious choice to not yell at them, to not constantly get on them to hurry up or slow down.  Each day, I gave them choices and let them decide what we would do for the day.  And except for a poor choice on Anjali's part which involved a broken pencil and the surface of our dining room table, the weekend went swimmingly.

The weather was gorgeous and we spent much of it outside.  I could not have asked for better, unfiltered memories.

First, we went to Boo at the Zoo at the Kansas City Zoo.

I loved this shot of her feeling the wind on her face.

And bonus, she even willing posed for me.  For once.

Arun will almost always pose.  Which results in goofy grins.

On Sunday, we went to Schaake's Pumpkin Patch.  It was our first time there and it was so utterly AWESOME that we will go nowhere else from now on.  It is a lovely, family-run pumpkin patch which offers simple activities - a hayride, hay maze, pumpkin slingshot, etc..  There were no over-the-top amusement park things that so many patches feature these days.  This was all about picking the perfect pumpkin.

Or riding them, as the case may be.

Next year, we will go BEFORE the first hard freeze, before all the vines have died.  Oops.


We saw some witches who appeared to have been tippling the potion.

After Schaake's, we went to the Natural History Museum at KU.

We had a gander at the mosasaur hanging in the front entrance.

And encountered some angry fish.

And an angry girl apparently channelling Olivia Newton John.

Fashion victim, indeed.

The Font Geek in me will rue the day they update all of the information placards.

Then, we went home and carved the pumpkins.

I was skeptical about Arun's choice, but this was truly beautiful.

Even thought it was full of worms (GROSS and yet, Halloween Appropriate)

My favorite emoticon.  It's a design I've done before, but decided to revisit because I love it so.

All in all, it was a perfect weekend.

No filter required.

Alan's Psychedelic Breakfast

Pink Floyd, Atom Heart Mother 1970

This is a post title that I thought surely I would never use.  Find out why it seemed appropriate, later in the post. (Gentle Reader, cue the ominous foreshadowing.)

A few weeks ago, I thought it would be fun to host a Bridesmaids watch party.

So, that is exactly what I did.  I carefully made cream cheese mints from flower molds, scrounged up my Serva-Snack trays and grabbed a can of mixed nuts and a copy of Bridesmaids at Target.  Then, I waited for 11 other lucky ladies (or were they lucky??  Stay tuned..... Earworm yourself some Twilight Zone music while you are at it.)

I was so excited that everyone had as much fun as I did digging out their cheesy wedding stuff, bringing pictures and wedding albums, sharing stories.  Seriously, WHAT IS IT about wedding fashion?  It never, ever, ever stays in style.  For example, my sister Maureen just had a gorgeous wedding in September - truly, it was very tasteful and classy.  Pulling out  my very best Olathe Used Car Salesman here, I can GUARAAAAA-NTEE that she will have something to poke fun at in 5 years time (my father decked out in a Frasier clan tartan kilt with a bone-handled knife stuck in his knee high socks notwithstanding. Of course.)

Anyway! Not only did a few ladies bring their wedding dresses, but a few brought bridesmaids dresses and other sundry marital accoutrements.

My friend Christy came wearing her nuptial hat.  She's hardcore like that.  We love her anyway.

Average Jane's vintage wedding dress is the one on the right - it was originally her mother's dress from 1965.  All of us Font Freaks swooned over the original Jones Store logo on the garment bag.  

Now, let us examine ye olde table of Cherished Wedding Clutter:

How precious, right?  RIGHT.

Hey.  Wait a goddamned second.  What is a DOLL doing in there??

Gentle Reader, meet Elizabeth.  She is my Single Girl Freakout Doll.  In my late 20s, I had my heart smashed to bits then summarily handed back to me along with my CDs and VHS tapes. In the ensuing insanity,  I managed to convince myself that I would never get married......  that no one would ever LOVE me in the manner to which I was accustomed...... and that menopause was lurking at my front door much like Jack Nicholson from The Shining.

Heeeeeere's Elizabeth!

Come out, come out, where ever you are.

Yes, in a fit of desperation, I ordered this DOLL from one of those Fancy Pants DOLL Places with the perfectly reasonable explanation (in my Real Life-Like HEAD) that since I would never get to buy myself a wedding dress, I could buy my goddamned DOLL a wedding dress.

It made perfect sense at the time.

Obviously, you know how this story ends.  I found the guy, we got hitched and I now live a life of grand, sumptuous luxury in the Soul-Sucking Suburban Prairie of Olathe. KANSAS.  You would think after all that Freaking Out that I would have taken my Honest-to-Goodness, Real Life-Like Wedding more seriously.  Yet, that did not happen.  We got engaged in May 2002, picked a venue in the fall of 2002 and signed up a priest in New Hampshire.  And then??  I did NOTHING.  Finally, in April, a few of the guests, including but not limited to Average Jane and the aforementioned Hardcore Hat Christy,  began hinting around as to whether they were going to get food or not.  At this wedding of mine for which they had paid Real Life-Like money for airline tickets. For a wedding that was to happen in 2 months. Oh, right.  THAT. So, I picked up the phone and ordered food, a cake, flowers and somewhere in there, made a hair appointment.  I tried on a few dresses and picked one that I liked, but did not love (seriously, my kingdom for a goddamned dress with SLEEVES.)

However, I did hunt high and low for the wedding handbag and the cake topper.  I researched endless online sites for a much-desired Lladro cake topper and trolled through store after store after store.

For a cake topper.  Because I had priorities.  Obviously.

Apparently, I also harbored secret desires for a Silver Fox.    And that ain't Lladro, either.

Anyway!  Friday's party was so much fun.  Then, we had Saturday -- which was low-key.  We had some birthday stuff for Arun that day, dinner consisted of some chicken burritos that Manoj picked up at the nearby panadería and then we went to bed. (The ominous foreshadowing just got more ominous. Crank up the music!  J.S Bach be in the house, yo.)

At 2am, I found myself making sweet love to my toilet .....caressing its smooth, porcelain curves.....whispering sweet nothings in its ear.... swearing that American Standard would never tear us asunder.

Food poisoning, right?  Nope.  Turns out, others from my Bridesmaid party also picked up a Bridesmaid Bug.  Oh, the sweet irony.  If you haven't seen the Bridesmaids party here......is......your ......

SPOILER ALERT!  

$#@%* ZOMFG

Yes, FOUR of us from my Bridesmaid party had a fun reenactment of the Groundbreaking, Historic Brazilian Food Poisoning scene from the movie.

A scene that I actually mocked in the invitation to my party.

Review and Giveaway: Shutterfly Holiday Cards!

My Pretend Lawyer Made Me Write This: This is not a sponsored post.  Shutterfly gave me 50 free holiday cards for review and additionally, 3 promotional codes for 25 free cards to give away to my readers.  However, I did purchase additional prints with my own money to further test and review the entire process since I am a new Shutterfly user (the auditor in me insisted on completing a "real" payment process.)  All opinions expressed are my own.

Updated 11/16/11
The Winners!
Leah, Jendo89 and AliMomof3!  Congratulations!  I've sent your promo codes for 25 free 5x7 photo cards.  Let me know if you have questions or issues on checkout.

*****
A few months ago, the service I used for printing photos and my holiday cards closed shop.  Forever.  I had used this service for a long, LONG time and when I got the news they were closing shop, I did not relish the thought of finding a new site to use for my holiday cards.

Here's the thing -- I am pretty serious about Christmas cards.  I love, LOVE doing Christmas cards, even way back in the day when I would just grab a box of cards at Target...... back in the day before photo cards were the "cool thing" to do.  Even now, with photo cards, I still look forward to the process of sitting down with a cup of a hot tea (or wine, if it's a Friday.  Ahem.), grabbing a fresh Sharpie, settling down into my chair and getting to the task of hand-addressing each envelope.  Additionally, I always keep a stack of holiday stationary nearby for jotting quick notes to those recipients that I may not have seen in awhile.  I always try to order my cards around Thanksgiving so that would leave me a few weeks to get the cards out in time.

My old service shutting down left me in a lurch until Shutterfly sent me a request to review their Holiday Cards.  Which I had to carefully consider and ponder, of course.

For all of 2 seconds.

When I went to check out the selection of cards, I was little overwhelmed at first.  For example, I went to look at their Christmas Cards and I was greeted with 928 choices.  Gulp. Fortunately, I could narrow those down by size, number of photos per card, color schemes, format (flat vs. folded), themes (i.e. "Religious") and categories (i.e. "Whimsy" or "Merry & Bright").  And that helped.  A bit.  So.... I clicked around some more in their other lines.

The first that caught my eye was the My Favorite Things card in their Holiday Story Cards line:

However, I fear that I am too sarcastic for something like that and I would prefer my grandmothers not leave coal in my stocking.  After all, a few of my favorite things include proper male aim at the toilet, an 8pm Sharp bedtime (for the kids), a slightly warm bottle of Boulevard Amber Ale and a freshly recorded episode of Breaking Bad.  All of which are inexplicably related. Indeed.

I also considered this card from the Holiday Cards line:

I liked this card because it reminded me of Kerala - the tropical area of India from where my husband is from.  He did not grow up with pine trees like I did - instead, he grew up with coconut trees.

I eventually decided on two other designs and made cards with each design (because seriously, that is how easy it was that I could make TWO cards in no time flat.)  I'm waiting for my husband to approve one or the other.  So, which one did I decide on??   It's supposed to be a surprise, right?  Right.

In the meantime, I did order and pay for prints from Shutterfly because I wanted to see their ordering process from end-to-end (yes, I am a former auditor.  Why do you ask??)

Overall, what did I like about my experience with Shutterfly?
1. It was very, very easy to download/organize albums and the download speeds were quite good. The user experience was pretty much exactly what I would expect from an online photo service.  No surprises! Also, I appreciate that my photos are hanging out there, just waiting to be turned into a cool photo gift or photo book.

2. I liked that on the prints I ordered (Disclosure: and paid for with my own money), I could designate text to be printed on the back.  I don't remember that being an option from my previous service and I appreciated that Shutterfly offered it.

3. I noticed for the Christmas cards they have two really cool options.  One of them includes pre-addressing the envelopes for you (I believe the pricing was 25 cents per card) and another option included even directly sending some of the cards (or if you choose, all of the cards).  Those aren't options that I want or need right now, but they are certainly something to consider if you are a small business owner or someone with a really busy schedule.  

Giveaway Time!
Shutterfly has given me promotional codes for 25 free holiday cards to give away to THREE readers (excludes shipping and taxes, valid only in the US).  I am opening up anonymous commenting for this and the rules for this giveaway are simple:

Leave a comment on this post by Midnight, CDT Friday, November 4th, 2011 and I will choose three winners using Random.org.  That's it! Please include an email address if you're not a regular commenter so that I may contact you if you win.


And more!
Shutterfly would also like to reach out to other bloggers!  Are you a blogger? Want a chance at 25 free cards this holiday season? Register here.

Fridays of Intestinal Fortitude: Pulling your leg.

Note: Fridays of Intestinal Fortitude is a weekly feature about food, food and more FOOD. No, I do not necessarily want to be a food blogger, but I do LOVE to talk about food prep, cooking food, eating food and making sweet love to food.




Okay, maybe not the "sweet love" part. After all, this is not meant to be an homage to 9 1/2 Weeks.

*********
Last weekend, we went to the Kansas City Renaissance Festival.  I am not sure how other cities do it, but here in Kansas City, the festival is held on grounds that house permanent structures year-round.  There is no slapping up of tents, these wenches and wizards mean business.

The food is pretty good -- Arun and I had a turkey leg (of course) and Anjali chose barbecue.  Later, I could not resist a crepe with apples, brie and almonds (judge me.  Go ahead.)  For dessert, we had a root beer float.  Here's something -- I LOVE root beer floats now after a lifetime of HATING them.  I discovered this new found Food Love about a year ago. What the hell is up with that??  It leaves me to wonder which tide will turn next on a former Food Hate.  Will I suddenly start craving  ropes of licorice?  Horseradish? Grilled cheese? Cheetos? Zeus forbid, KETCHUP?

In what may be destined to become a tradition, I present for your viewing pleasure some snaps of my kid mowing through a turkey leg at the Kansas City Renaissance Festival

2011

2010

What is it about a turkey leg that makes it so damned delicious???  It's certainly a step up from traditional fair food.   I suppose there is a particular primal satisfaction to be gained from ripping through tendons, ligaments and whatnot with your bare teeth in order to get to that lovely pink meat.

Does your city have a RenFest? Does it also serve up the roasted turkey leg?  Also, have you discovered  new Food Loves after a lifetime of previously hating them?

Lost for Words

Pink Floyd, The Division Bell 1994

On Arun's 1st birthday, I wrote this on his First Status Report:

I wanted to be a mother for a long, long time and he is everything I could have ever hoped for in a child. And more. He's so much more than I dreamed of that it takes my breath way. To have all of one's dreams and fears encapsulated in one tiny, beautiful human being is equally daunting and awe-inspiring. And I wouldn't change a thing.

And nothing has changed.

Well, that's not entirely true. This boy has progressed a bit.  We have even installed some hardware updates.

However, the software updates are all his own doing.

Overall, we are quite satisfied with our First DNA Project v6.

I am still in awe of the fact that someone in charge decided that I would get to be this boy's mother. In fact, I am still waiting for the product recall.

Happy birthday, Arun.  You are so sweet, kind, generous and thoughtful.  No worries, baby boy.  I won't tell a soul.  After all, I wouldn't want to ruin your street cred.