Perspective.

Last week, I felt a little raw. Worn. Beat-up. I know that I come as a little judgmental because I am a little judgmental. X and I have worked our asses off for everything we have, it is difficult for me not to judge. I am thinking over some of the comments from last week and would like to write about them. But, today? I will be focusing on frothy, fun stuff. Things that need a straw and a pink umbrella stuck in them.

First, I have a post up on my review site, Queen of the Free Bees. I took a kick-ass, awesome home repair class over the weekend where we installed new light fixtures, outlets, repaired holes and hung towel rods. Check out the review and receive a discount on a class of your own. Now, I need a pretty, new drill. Fortunately, I can purchase one and my husband will never notice.

And this: If the following photo does not make you smile or laugh, then you need to put out a Craigslist search in a quest for a new soul. Seriously, are you a vampire? Even a shape-shifter would chuckle, at least.

We went to the Kansas City Zoo and surprise! I took pictures! I have to wonder what my children will think of the 50 million pictures I have taken over the years at all of these zoos, parks and nature centers. Far, far in the future, when the trees and fauna have all shriveled up, when everything is lit with florescent lighting, trimmed in man-made materials and we are all wearing silver suits and bubble helmets. And no eyebrows. Because eyebrows are the de facto fashion faux pas in the future, of course.

Hold My Hand, Arun.

They say you can see our souls in our eyes.
They would be correct.

Humidity is Not Her Friend.

Speaking of perspective, Arun has been taking my camera and playing with it. I enjoy seeing his world, for a change. Some of his favorite things:

Sister

Puppy

Green Alligator

Contrite.

Yes.

I regret my post this morning.

I felt okay for about a grand total of 30 minutes. It was very cathartic to let loose a string of nasty, bitter invectives. Truly, it was.

Then, I trotted off for a lovely playdate at a nature center with two lovely gals. We watched our lovely children prance around, playing with sticks and enjoying the outside. It was lovely.

But, I increasingly began to feel uncomfortable with what I had written today. By the time I pulled in the driveway, I felt downright miserable that I had totally pooped all over my pretty space here. I am surprised the herd of sheep has not wandered over to a new pasture.

Obviously, I need to get a thicker skin and not care when folks bag a major corporation on Twitter.

Obviously, I need to get a thicker skin and not care when someone calls a circumcision a "tradition" and then proceeds to compare it to other traditions such as honor killings, foot bindings, war and even corporal punishment.

Obviously, I need to get a thicker skin and not care when folks spend their money foolishly, then proceed to cry foul and blame the economy.

Obviously, I need to rethink my Google Reader subscriptions.

Exhale.

I am going to cook a delightful meal tonight using as many delectable August tomatoes possible (Northern-style chicken masala, spicy tomato dhal and a tomato pachadi) Then, I will go to the gym, crank up the iPod and clear my head on the elliptical. Then, I will come home and relax with my family and some knitting.

I wish you all well.

Excuse me, I need to go bang my head on the nearest wall.

Ranting. The Diet Version.

If you are a blogger with over a million followers on Twitter? I will hold you to a higher standard when you make blanket accusations towards people - corporations or individuals. If you are Dooce? That standard will even be a little bit higher. You are a professional with an incredible amount of influence. Use your powers for good. (Sidenote: Sundry puts it all in perspective. As a former customer service representative myself, stories like these chap my hide. Look forward to a lengthier writing in the next week or so. Over the years, I have had some incredibly positive experiences in customer service and I believe it is because of the way I approach the PERSON on the other line.)

If you use the word "science" in your blog header? I will be disappointed when you write loose, thinly-veiled posts purporting to be a "discussion" when really, you are only writing it to support something in which you already believe and therefore, do not welcome comments to the contrary. And yes, when I write a tongue-in-cheek, devil's advocate comment, I will be a little pissed when others act like I am a moron because I dared to disagree. And yes, I will be tempted to unsubscribe, but I really do love me a delicious, hypocritical trainwreck.

If you consistently make poor financial choices , then are shocked when you have no money? If you choose to leave a job and put your health insurance at risk? I will begin to lose sympathy for you. Years and years and years of reading and hearing about all of your purchases of expensive goods, vacations home improvements and personal services will not help your case. Listen, X and I live an incredibly risky life because he is an entrepreneur - our health care costs are the definition of insanity. But we make financial choices in line with that lifestyle choice. This is why I do not complain. My insurance does not include maternity, so guess what, folks? We use BIRTH CONTROL. Shocking, yet true. I guess this could circle back up to my paragraph on Financial Choices. And no, this is not about a particular blogger or person - this is about at least ten folks that I can list off immediately who are blaming the economy for their woes, yet have complained about money for as long as I have known or read them. Listen up, your blog documents your lifestyle, why are you shocked when folks judge you harshly?

If you think that X and I are living high on the hog? Think again. Everyone makes certain decisions on how to slice their financial pie. Our decisions and priorities may differ than yours, but that does not mean we are not struggling, too.

That'll do, pig. This ranty, critical imposter is out of topics. What would you love to talk about?

Let me be clear. Crystal Light clear. Cripes, now I am thirsty, too.

Thank you for all the words of wisdom on my Birthday party post yesterday. And I would like to stress that I do appreciate and listen to the Kid Free folks. Why would I not? After all, everyone was a kid at some point in his/her life, right?

I should note that Arun is crazy about his cousins and even the so-called "distant" one (they go to school together.) Cousins alone will come to 5 kids. And when I asked Arun who he wanted to invite? He exclaimed, "Everybody!" Obviously, we are working on that.

Believe it or not, I really do not go crazy over the birthday party thing now. Oh sure, his 1st birthday party saw a bit of action, but now? I do not do party favors and I have always requested no gifts. I buy cupcakes and ice cream - invite some kids to come hang out and have fun for two hours. That is it. That first year, I did an activity, but at the nature center, they will do an animal demonstration, so entertainment is taken care of now. The nature center costs $60 and again, that is a steal in my book since it will be less stress for me. Besides, it helps the nature center out - the same center that we use for free all year round.

I see us throwing one blow-out birthday parties for each kid. I was thinking something special for the 10th birthday. Maybe. Just one party, that might be appreciated, one party where they can go crazy. Maybe. Eh. I will probably change my mind.

What I have noticed is this - when I host a party at home for my kids, I spend the entire time beforehand running around, desperately trying to clean and get ready. Then, during the party, I am playing hostess. I want to spend time with my kids at their birthday parties while they still actually want me around. Know what I mean?

Of course, you do.

I am crabby. Hey! Crabcakes sound good right now.

I am grumpy these days. Downright cross. Absolutely irritable.

I have composed no less than three different rants, none of which I feel comfortable even posting. Sigh. It sucks self-censoring, but I fear those posts will come across as passive-aggressive, judgmental and just plain mean-spirited. Perhaps because those posts were passive-aggressive, judgmental and just plain mean-spirited.

Exhale.

So..... I will talk about Arun's birthday party instead. While pregnant, viewing with an anxious eye the the calendar with October 15th boldly circled, I had grand, soft-focus visions of doing a Halloween costume party for my bundle of boy every year for his birthday. He would head off into his adulthood with cozy memories of his Halloween party. His life would be perfect, all because he got a perfect Halloween party every single year of his perfect childhood. I would be heralded for the centuries with my mad mothering skillz. An icon to be held up for the mothering ages. The End.

However. It occurred to me that perhaps, I should ask Arun if he would like a costume party. Maybe, he would prefer another party? That features animals? At a nearby nature center?

Why yes! Yes, he would. And so, it shall be. The reservation has been made and it was actually quite affordable. Not hosting at my house with 15 screaming kids? Well worth the money, anyway.

Thus, begins the complicated process of who to invite. I have so many friends with children. And now, Arun has friends of his own. And cousins. Not just first cousins, but "grandchildren of my dad's cousin" type of cousins with whom he plays. And then there are the siblings of his friends.

How does this birthday party invite thing work? What are the rules? Will I ruin my child's chance at entrance into high society if I get it wrong? Egads.