Aren’t pictures worth a 1000 words?

This has been a lovely week, but not much in the way of providing blog fodder. I am going to slap out some snappage, instead. Pay particular note to the Curry Plant - that baby is something I have been lusting after for over a year now. You see, come January, curry leaves are hard to come by. We have a teeny plant, but it only has about THREE meals worth of leaves on it, so I am hesitant to pluck too much foliage off of it. But NOW? I can hold my own Indian buffet with this beauty.

Anyway, enjoy the Slapdashed Snappage......

Actually, I CAN Quit You, Gerber.

After throwing away container after container after container of things like peaches and bananas, then being subjected to Arun climbing all over me Hankering for Hunks of ACTUAL peach and banana every time I happened to cut one up, I decided to give up on Gerber and their nefarious corporate tactics. I unloaded all of the rest of Gerber's crap from the cupboard and foisted it upon my sister. However, I will admit this dirty little secret -I kept the sweet potato puff thingies. Holy shit, those things are D-LISH, but so damned expensive that I refer to them as Baby Caviar.


Muffin Top THIS, Yo.

Here is Alliclaus (Bethiclaus’s daughter ) showin’ off her Baby Muffin Top glory. Also, notice the vintage cow toy in the background. We had playgroup at S’s house this Tuesday and seriously, S has the motherload of vintage toys! All the classics from when WE were kids. Next playgroup, I will take pictures so we can ALL ride our Big Wheels down the Lane of 1970s Memories.


ERA is SO 1970s.

This book is meant for BOYS - if you're packin' only Xs, move along, Little Lassie. MOVE ALONG. And they meant BUSINESS with the age guidelines - I think there was some fine print about asking for ID. Anyway, to answer the question, judging from his eyes, it's probably "dope" (as my grandmother still calls it to this day). Furthermore, Methinks perhaps the author was in possession of some, too.


Some Pockets are Best Left Alone.

You know how everyone seemed to have That Uncle? You KNOW, That Uncle who would say things that seemed just a smidgeon short of Inappropriate, but you could never quite put your finger on it enough to tell your mom? This reminded me of my own That Uncle.


A Lesson in International Diplomacy.

Children, this is a curry plant. It hails from the Land of India. Indians reside on the sub-continent of Asia. But you can still call them Arabs. They don't mind! Now Children, curry plants do not yield actual CURRY powder. It's a trick being played trickish-like on you by those Tricky Little Indians so they can twitter behind your backs as you ask such FOOLISH questions. Children, the lesson here is, beware the Man who nods "Yes" when he actually means "No".*


The Beginnings of the Great Peace Accord of 2006.

X told me this was going on in our bedroom. OUR BEDROOM. The nerve! Cats and babies sleeping in harmony!?! Don't they know the RULES?!? I snuck upstairs to take a picture and DUDE, I woke them both up. I quickly slithered back downstairs before X even realized what I had done, because DUDE, I woke the baby up and that shit just don’t fly around our house. X came downstairs quizzically all "Wow, that was a short nap?" and I was all like "Don't know nuthin' about nuthin'".

Monday is the New Friday?

The weekend was AWESOME. Friday was spent with friends eating AWESOME food and desserts that we brought from Andre's that were AWESOME. They have an adorable dog who actually followed Arun around once he figured out that food was to be had. I handed Arun a piece of bread only to observe the dog a few seconds later trotting away, licking his snout. TOO CUTE and Arun was on Cloud 9 the entire evening. Saturday was Canasta night with the gals and we played a variation called Hand and Foot that was AWESOME (be sure to follow the link for the most AWESOME card game site. Name a card game and for sure, Pagat's got it. AWESOME.) Sunday, was an AWESOME day spent with X and Arun. We had Indian buffet and Arun got it all over his clothes, which STAINS, which is NOT so AWESOME, unfortunately. However, X spent most of Sunday afternoon with Arun leaving me free to do fun stuff like read and clean the kitchen counters. Which was AWESOME, because I love me a clean ass kitchen. And the kitchen? Is so clean, we could EAT off the counters. AWESOME. Oh, and after I cleaned all the crumbs off the counter, I retired the Crumb Pooping Toaster and swore in the New AWESOME Toaster, who promises to never, ever let loose a big ole dump of crumbs. Which is, you guessed it, AWESOME.

In the News......... In a continuing quest to pare down the stress in my life, a few weeks ago, I mandated that Mondays would be Mood Days. Meaning, I am going to do whatever I am in the MOOD To Do. I will make a concentrated effort to make NO plans, whatsoever, and will only do spontaneous sorts of activities. Before the Mood Days Mandate, I found that I was getting overwhelmed with going, going, going all the time and hoped that having one "free" day might be the Answer. So far, Mood Days have been pretty cool. It's very freeing to wake up in the morning and not have to do anything - just having the whole day laying (lying? Help! Wordnerd!) around. HA. Who am I kidding here? Today, I rifled through paperwork, paid bills, took a walk, went to the mall, went to Costco, went to Target, had my sister and grandma over to visit, read a bit, did some laundry, cooked a nice dinner (chicken masala and couscous), started my chart for TV Season 2006/07, AND watched the finale of Deadwood (Bah. Disappointing. OBVIOUSLY, they thought they were going to have another season to work with. Boo on HBO.) Oh and yeah....somewhere in all that, I even managed to spend time with Arun. Still, it is great to have ONE somewhat free day. No complaints.

In Other News..............My friend R had a spectacular idea. After hunting around for a Kansas City Stitch n' Bitch to no avail, she determined that WE needed to start one. Look for a post with details coming soon to a blog near you! I am very excited. I had been frustrated with my lack of knitting and had recently made a vow to renew the effort. While reading is a great hobby and I have kept on it since having had Arun, I still need something CREATIVE. To that end, I am definitely going to start devoting more time to the ole Needles and Yarn. The KC Stitch n' Bitch will help me towards that goal and kudos to R for coming up with the idea.

In Other, Other News...........It looks like we are going back to TiVo. As X wryly observed, "We're coming full circle." But, it's all good. Basically, we started out with TiVo, then went to Dish and gave the TiVo to my mom because Dish and TiVo did NOT get along. Frankly, Dish's DVR was pretty awesome, but their customer service everytime we had a problem? SUCKED ASS. Couple that with unreliable signals and it wasn't pretty. I even cried a few times because they were SO frustrating. So, then we went to Comcast and while the service is very reliable, the DVR is TERRIBLE. I could write an entire post on all the various bugs it has. I even called them about it and they didn't really seem to care that their DVR has more bugs than my fucking basement (that's saying a lot, too. Because the bugs in my basement? Are probably plotting a takeover.) Anyway, we are going back to TiVo. We are in a holding pattern right now waiting for the Series 3 to see if we can afford it - we have seen price estimates all over the board on it and some of them are downright SCARY prices, too. However, I am hopeful and have already offered up My Christmas 2006 AND My Birthday 2007. If the price is right? I'd be willing to pony up Mother's Day 2007 - that's how badly I am jonesin' for the Series 3.


So, that's the News around Rancid le Manse. Not bad, really.

Isn't it ironic?

Despite the spate of negativity I have spewed here lately, it has actually been an AWESOME week. For example, the playgroup yesterday was really fun - it was such a diverse mix. Yeah, it bothered me that M is so Nervous, but overall, it was an interesting group. One note about the babyproofing - X and I did not just wave our hands at it and pronounce it useless. We discussed very carefully what we were willing To Do and Not To Do. For example, gates are not up all over the place - the compromise is that we watch Arun like a hawk. We do have gates for some of the rooms upstairs and we move them around with us. Also, I don't have the gate on the 4th step, but rather the 3rd step. Basically, we don't have a good setup for leaving Arun unattended anyway, so why go crazy with the Safety Dance?

SO, like I mentioned, it has been a GREAT week. Once I gave up on the novel idea that Arun would take Textbook Naps, the days have been easier. I have a Catnapper for a son and life is better now that I have just accepted that. Nighttime has been going well, too. Since X is out of town, I can put Arun in his crib around 8:00ish and he fusses himself to sleep within 30 minutes or so. He gets up around midnight or so, but then I just pull him into bed with me. No wonder I was going a little freaky - these past few nights have been downright DELICIOUS having such large blocks of time to myself. Last night, I frolicked around the house until nearly 1:00 am. I was downright giddy with Kid Free Glee.

I have really been enjoying him lately. I try very hard to let things like dishes and clutter go by the wayside and just hang out watching him play with the bazillion toys he has in his possession. In fact, this week has gone so good, that Cousin J didn't come yesterday because she was sick and I wasn't even disappointed. In fact, I was a little relieved because Arun and I were still having fun when 3:30 rolled around. Today, I called her and said to not worry about coming over, either. I was going to the farmer's market and wanted to take him with me. We wrapped up the evening by having dinner at Blue Koi, browsing Prospero's bookstore for awhile, then coming home and playing some more.

Really, just a lovely evening. And the bonus? X is coming home TONIGHT, instead of Friday. I've been missing him this week, so it will be good to see him. Also, I bought a new toaster that I am dying to show him.

To make up for the Negativity lately, I present a Peace Offering in the form of Snappage....


Already pushing little old ladies outta the way. Just plain RUDE.

He loved pushing Great Aunt P's walker around. He was also pretty impressed with her cane, wheelchair and apparatus for the oxygen tank. Do we have a Male Nurse in the making?


Walker. Stalker. Talker.

Besides having my own personal stalker (restraining orders, anyone?), I also have my own little chatterbox. He wakes up and immediately starts babbling. And doesn't really shut up for the rest of the day. Also, he is obsessed with the toy walker thingie. In the past few days, he has learned how to actually turn it around, so now he is all over the place with it. The look of Pride on his face as he strolls by? Priceless. He's also started standing sans Support, although he doesn't stand for long. Everyone says I am "in trouble", but since he's already mobile, I am not sure what that "trouble" could be. Perhaps, I don't want to know?


Takin' a Chance on the Safety Dance.

He started pulling out sacks a few at a time and I thought, "Aw, what the hell?" Little did I know. I swear I turned for like half a minute. I wonder if my hopes for Mother of the Year are finally dashed for good?


Actually, his Bark IS bigger than his Bite.

Because he is still in possession of a mere TWO teeth. Still, how can you resist Gooeylicious Cheeks interspersed with Twin Chiclets?


Life is but a Game.

We have two games that provide this smiling reaction. A rousing rendition of "I'm Gonna Get You", actually GETS him. The 2nd one involves simply counting "1...2...3".... He knows that SOMETHING is going to happen after 3, he's just not sure what because we switch it out for variety (or to save our own Sanity, at least). Anyway, this works equally well in Hindi. Next week? Spanish. After that? Japanese. The sooner we get crackin' on those SAT skills, the better - right?


A Mushroom Cloud of HAIR.

I swear I did NOT Photoshop this head. It's the real thing in all its Nuclear Inspired Glory. Au naturale, babycakes!

What's that FDR line about "Fear"?

A long, rambling Post.
The One Where I Prove This Blog is Really For Me........

When Arun was a scant 3 weeks old, I started going to the breastfeeding support group at my hospital - it's offered on the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays of the month. It was a NoBrainer decision to begin going - the hospital is a mere minutes away, it offered a great resource for breastfeeding and general baby questions, it gave me the opportunity to weigh Arun on a regular basis, and most importantly, it got me out of the house. Over the months, as I watched mother after mother go back to work when her maternity leave ended, I realized that I needed to make some Social Connections while people were actually still attending. To this end, I started asking people to go Mall Trolling on the alternate Wednesdays. At first, this worked out fine because it was winter anyway and our babies were small. Then, as our babies got older, we started getting together on other days to allow said babies the chance to interact and exchange pathogens. Regardless of which day we are actually meeting, my friend S and I refer to it as the Wednesday group because we must lack some sort of creative gene, I guess. Anyway, when I first started doing all of this, I made a solemn vow to myself to not allow this group to become delicious blog fodder. And we all know what the very best, most delicious of all blog fodder is, don't we? The Snarkastically Delicious kind, of course. But I have fought the Good Fight and resisted temptation.

Yes, I have been Patient. And Good. To the very best of my Blogging Abilities. However, I'd like to post just this once, just a little. ........

The Wednesday group met at my house today and in all honesty, was one of the best gatherings ever. It was SO fun and such a DIVERSE mix of folks because in addition to the Wednesday group, I invited some people that I met through blogging....... Amanda (a regular commenter here who I met because of the Dearly Departed blog, The Rabbit Lived) was there with her son N. Bethiclaus (who I met because we both read Amalah) was there with her daughter Alliclaus (Rancid Tangent: Um, is it kidnapping if it happens in your OWN home? Um, like, if I just happened to maybe "accidently" stash Alliclaus away in a closet, do you think Bethiclaus would notice? Is that against the law? Seriously, that child is one of the sweetest, most delicious babies on the Internet. Check her out. I wonder if Mexican-Americans do the arranged marriage thingamabob like the Indians?? Arun's going to be on the Market before you know it. ) But I digress........Of the Wednesday group, S was there with her daughter A.... M was there with her son..... And finally, C was there briefly with her daughter, BUT she was actually there to introduce her husband R - she is going back to work full-time and her husbad is taking the reins. Yep, we have ourselves a SAHD in the group. Which is very awesome - it's sorta like when WASPs say "Oh, but we have a Jew AND a Lesbian in our social circle" to prove their diversity. Now, we can say we have a DAD in ours! Jealous, much?? Anyway, don't underestimate having a SAHD in your playgroup! In the span of ONE playgroup he showed me where I need to tack down some loose carpeting. So, yeah - it was very cool having a SAHD - he had the Dad's point of view on Parenting and the Husband's point of view on Everything Else.

Okay. Here's where I vent a little. Or a lot. Or maybe not at all. Whatever.

M is a bit of a Nervous Nellie. I have always known this and for the most part, don't really care. But this time? It made me feel uncomfortable for some reason. I mean, I am in my OWN home and yeah, it's not child-proofed to the hilt, but I at least keep the liquor locked up, okay? And yeah, I have some homemade toys around - lentils with rice in a water bottle seemed to really bother her, though. When her son was playing with it, she was quick to take it away from him. Um, NONE of the kids there today were in possession of nearly enough Gross nor Fine Motor skills required to get the bottle open. Furthermore, even if they did? Rice and lentils aren't choking hazards. And I do understand that most folks aren't comfortable with the babygate being on the 4th step, instead of the bottom, so I did move that down, at least. It's not the first time that someone, besides M, has expressed Pressed Lips Quietness at how I do things concerning Baby Safety.

I am very torn on the this whole baby safety thing. Maybe I AM too relaxed. For the most part, we have all toxic things locked/out of reach, we're child-proofing doors/drawers and we've stuffed most outlets with those plastic thingies (hello, Electricity!) but we primarily depend on good old-fashioned Vigilence. Arun goes room to room with me throughout the day. We have an open floor plan to our house that doesn't really lend itself well to any sort of Baby Confinement, anyway and since this whole SAHM thing is my Job, I don't mind having a Shadow. Furthermore, in some areas, I think it is SAFER to teach a child a skill under close supervision, rather than totally cutting off the Danger. For example, Arun is a Champ when it comes to stairs - he can safely go up AND down them. However, does he get free rein? Hell No. Make that a HELL NO. But, I do keep the gate at the 4th step with a pillow at the bottom so that he can get ample practice in the meantime. Is this where I mention that he fell once when the gate was still at the 1st step but he hasn't fallen since?

So, I am not sure why, but M's attitude today really bothered me. REALLY.BOTHERED.ME. Perhaps, babyproofing goes a lot further than just keeping your baby safe and that it taps into something much deeper ? A Mother's Worst Nightmare Come True? I do think that M would be surprised to know I am actually a very fearful person. I call it the Rising Paranoia in the Back of Your Throat and FUCK, it's always there. ALWAYS THERE. And as a mother, I see it as one of my primary responsibilities to constantly beat it the FUCK DOWN.

Folks, on a daily basis, I have to tell myself that everything is going to be okay. That my India-born husband is going to be okay even though he travels all the time and is subject to the Risk of Idiocy that comes with having Brown Skin and a Green Passport in this country. I comfort myself knowing that at least he speaks fucking good English and we have a Christian last name, as Curious that may seem (Christians? In India?!?!).

When I get in the car??? I have to tell myself that fatal car crashes are actually rare and how many people do I know that have actually been in one? One. J's husband - which still shakes me to the core. But to that end, I did buy the Ridiculous Carseat for Arun.

When I fly in an airplane??? God, I am afraid. Yes, I just typed that - the person who travels ALL THE TIME and has taken her 10 month old son on SIX airplane trips, coast-to-coast, thus far. Every time the plane TAKES OFF and LANDS, I do a bit of what I like to call Reflection and I renew my faith in God.

When I wake up at 3:00 AM for Whatever Reason and X is out of town??? I have to talk myself from the Ledge that tries to convince me that someone is breaking in to my home. And this happens at least once, every time X is out of town.

The Greatest Fear of All? The one in which ALL mothers are in possession? The fear of dying before your child even knows Who You Are?? Enter J's Husband. Enter my own grandfather, my dad never knew him because he died when my dad was a baby. It is one of the very reasons why I continue to blog even though I will never be a Power Blogger and I will never get tons of "Love you, love your blog" comments. I feel safe blogging because I know that if I DO die tomorrow, I can hold fervent to the belief that someone I know will print all this blather into hard copy so that Arun can see that while I appreciated a nicely executed Run-On Sentence, Good Sarcasm and Foul Language, that I did love him more than just about anything but his Daddy, which is saying VOLUMES because I love his Daddy A LOT. Actually, maybe it's even a tie between those two.

Damn, the list could go on and on and on regarding how fearful I am - I didn't even cover my paranoias concerning raw chicken. The point is, I don't want to pass these Fears to my son. The successful, productive members of our society are not Fearful People. People who are afraid usually accomplish not.much.at.all. I want my son to Live. And for that, I have to constantly stuff my fears deep inside. And I will keep the gate on the 4th step. And I won't buy the toilet lock. And I will hold firm to the fact that we have NO history of food allergies and that even though clams LIVE in the sea, they are not, in fact SEAFOOD. And I will continue to depend on my elbow to determine the water's temperature. And I will let him ride a bike. Someday. And I will get him a passport so that we might go to India where GODKNOWS what sort of germs might lie in wait and where for sure, carseats are not fashionable. And I might, just MIGHT, let him play football, even though I would rather he'd hunker down with some Harry Potter...............

So, this evening when I picked Arun off the floor to give him a kiss and immediately got a pungent whiff of cat food on his breath, what else could I do but laugh?


Frank Herbert, Dune
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Isn't "Routine" just fancy talk for "Boring"?

Here's a Rancid Rant for you (all 3 of you). Nothing interesting, just mark this one off as the most boring post EVEH, but I need to get this Rant outta my pants....

I remember reading during my pregnancy that all the Wise Baby Tomes solemnly preached that "baby needs a routine otherwise, his eternal soul will grow moldy" or something to that effect, anyway. While it would be easy to blame all the Travel for the lack of Routine around our house, the truth? Most of our Routine begins and ends with whine of the coffee grinder. Arun doesn't even flinch as I blearily fumble around for the button, at least I count to 3 to give warning. Perhaps, Deafness at this point? Anyway, the lack of Routine is partly Arun's fault - He Who Naps in 45 Minute Increments makes it difficult to plan activities consistently. And the Activities? Must be planned or BOTH of us will go Apeshit With Boredom. Think I am kidding? He gets pretty fucking cranky when Cabin Bound which does no small service for MY mood, either.

SO, I am starting to feel remiss in my Mothering Duties because we have No Routine. I am not entirely convinced that one is needed and I am not even sure where to being in establishing one. So, last week, keeping in mind that I would gladly ohsweetJESUS plan my entire life including menstrual cycle around a Nap, I went about trying to determine some sort of routine for us. To disasterous effect. I attempted to stay home as much as possible, not planning any "big, all-day outings" so that I could see, just out of curiousity, perhaps, or maybe what his schedule might be.

First, I thought I would try to make breakfast. I am not a Breakfast Person. I am a Coffee Person. But I gave the June Cleaver route a whirl by making toast, then putting out some Cheerios, yogurt, and fruit. And we ate it properly at the kitchen table (as opposed to me sitting on the floor by the coffee table per usual for most of our meals)......Bah....... Eating breakfast made me SICK. Like, seriously, I felt queasy eating so early in the day.

Second, we basically can't leave the house before 11:00am. He consistently takes a morning nap, but never, EVER at the same time. Therefore, it is best to make NO plans until 11:00. Then, whenever he DOES wake up, I have a scant 2.5 - 3 hours in which to do anything before the Rounds of Incremental Naps begin. Then, we come home and the Rounds o' Naps begin. Such as.......Put Arun down for 45 minutes, scurry like a rat getting things done, Arun wakes up, entertain Arun for maybe an hour or so, put Arun down for ANOTHER 45 minutes, scurry like a rat, and go round and round and round ......

Third, 8:00 PM arrives and I put Arun in his crib and begin the Waiting. If X is in town, thus begins the Parental Tug o' War we have going on. I am NOT an advocate of Crying It Out and am vehemently against it*, but I am totally comfortable letting Arun fuss for 45-60 minutes if need be after which, he usually goes to sleep. X, on the other hand? Can't let his son cry for ONE minute. Great balls of fire, not a single tear shall be shed. So, last week was stressful. This week? Since X left for the "real world of Virginia" last night, I am hoping to work on the night situation.

I tried, people. I really tried........ Since I was trying to figure out what Arun Would Like To Do, I even went super easy on planning much of anything last week. Which meant, by the end of the week, I was going slightly stir-crazy and was even more behind in my Social Obligations. See, here's the thing. I read all these SAHM blogs where the moms feel alone, isolated, bored or whatever. I feel the complete opposite. I have so many things to do and so many people to see, I get very stressed out about it. Not knowing what the nap situation is doesn't help, particularly when I am driving to Kansas City, Leavenworth and Lawrence - I need to account for drive times when meeting with folks. Not having a 2-3 hour block of Nappage doesn't help.

I don't know what the answer is. Fuck, I don't even know the question. I guess I just needed to vent.

The End.

*There is reliable brain research out there regarding this upon which I have based my opinion. But I don't want to argue or debate. Every parent has to do what he/she is comfortable doing.



NOTE:
I wrote all of that Rant this afternoon, as I was attempting to get Arun to take Nap #3. I gave up on said Nap, we went to see my Friend A who FINALLY gave birth after like a month of hard labor which still resulted in a c-section, poor thing. Her incredibly sweet mother-in-law gave Arun an Apple. Like, handed him an APPLE, whereupon he immediately tried to gnaw on it unsuccessfully with his total of TWO Teeth. We were laughing and I whispered quickly to A, "This MUST go on the blog. Can I? pleaseohplease?" After visiting A, Arun and I went to the park and had a lovely time. Then, we had a bath where I had to drag him out when the water got cold and his feet were getting prune-ish.

Damn. Life IS good. What am I bitching about?

Space Cowbaby

Even though my Type A personality is really taking a beating these days and I am ever so weary of my cluttered, disorganized house, he's worth it. Like, DUH, of course. Organize DVDs? Or sit and watch him play? I suppose I have had tougher quarries, er... quandaries.


Yo!Baby! You're just a YoBaby.

Look closely for the disappearing cracker. It's as if the alligator is trying to bring it down for a Death Roll.