Dear Squirrel #5,
I understand that last night must have been upsetting to you - putting it mildly, of course. I, myself, shed a tear or two as your sister thrashed, squealed and cried in her final death throes. I even had a nightmare about it while sleeping last night. While I hate PETA, I do love animals and have realized that this is no longer funny. Long, painful deaths are just not my cup of tea. In retrospect, I also realize that my cackling and celebratory Dance o’ Death conducted in my front yard after your mother, brother and other sister had met their grisly ends may have appeared a bit unseemly as well and for this, I apologize. It’s just that your little teeth are so sharp. They chew holes in my roof, my HVAC ductwork and most distressingly, my electrical wiring.
So, please - Squirrel #5, I beg of you - just stick your little snout in the trap and accept the destiny that is yours. Thank you.
Sincerely,
The Management
No comments:
Post a Comment
Thank you for your comments! I will try to respond to as many as possible, but can only do so if you have included your email address AND have clicked the "show email address" option on your Blogger profile. Thanks!