Really? What gave it away?

Was it the ginormous mound of dirt? Or the bright orange safety netting?

I've been driving by that all week and it makes me chuckle every time.

Okay....moving on......Let me state emphatically that I am not a child development person. I am a former accountant, a licensed CPA with loads of experience in software development, business analysis, data security administration and way more experience in QA/Software Testing than I EVER wanted. I do have some great resources for child development, though. I own:

• Your Baby's First Year: Week by Week - This is a useful book but is very detailed and a bit cumbersome. Particularly, for a new mother it can be overwhelming to be presented with so much information at once - not even taking into fact that a new mother really should be reading US Weekly in her free time because her brain needs a BREAK. Furthermore, a "month by month" version would have been more useful. A paranoid mother does NOT need this book lest she find herself saying "OMIGOD, it's Week 15 and he's not waving bye-bye??"
  
• Toddler 411 and Baby 411 - Hands down, these two books are the ones I would own if I could only have two. They have absolutely everything you need for your child up to about kindergarten in 2 concise volumes that are easy to read, entertaining (you'll laugh out loud) and most importantly, are conveniently organized as a reference tool. The overall tone of these two books is that of a "Hey, you'll be okay Grasshopper." one that is comforting and reassuring.
  
• The Science of Parenting - I enjoy this book because I am fascinated by the biology of what's going on with babies and toddlers. There are often valid reasons for what they do simply because their little brains and nervous systems are still developing, yet we desperately want them to act like little, logical adults. This book goes a long way in explaining why parents need to manage their expectations regarding what their Precious Progeny is actually capable of doing at their particular developmental stages.
  

Let me also state emphatically that I LOVE my Parents As Teachers lady (I call her the PAT Lady). Our original PAT Lady moved this year, so this gal is a new one. I love this new gal's approach and she has great bits of advice. The bad part of the PAT Lady's visits is that I always feel as if I am fervently trying to demonstrate to her Arun's brilliance. Because OF COURSE, that's EXACTLY what I am trying to do, right? And during this last visit, I felt pretty silly. We went through his 12 Month Developmental Checklist and except for a few things, like clapping and throwing a ball overhand, he's right on track. Although, I would love to secretly think he is a genius, logically, I know he is a normal kid. Anyway, I mentioned that Arun is only picking out the circles in his puzzle and shape sorter and was I approaching it right way - like, should I take all the other shapes away and just keep the circles out or should I "phase the shapes in?" like, introduce squares next, since they are the next easiest shape. The PAT Lady was really nice about it, but did gently suggest that while it was great he has learned the circles, he might still be a little young for puzzles and the shape sorter. Furthermore, apparently, he isn't ready for colors, either (which of course, I had been working on). Seriously, I felt a little silly. How am I supposed to know that a 12 month old isn't ready for shapes or colors? Don't get me wrong, it's not like I am on the floor drilling him ("Blue, Blue, BLUE dammit!") and I certainly haven't gotten out the flashcards yet ("2+2=4.....What, you got jello for brains?"). Mostly, Arun just hangs out playing with his gazillion toys, books and cars. Let me repeat, the PAT Lady is AWESOME and is very encouraging and gives great ideas for age appropriate activities. So, while I have some great resources for child development, I guess I need to look into something that will give me ideas for what is useful in edumacating a 12 month old. So much for starting on our Canasta Strategy.

Also, I should point out that I ALREADY messed up in this NaBloPoMo thingie. ALREADY. I usually compose a draft the night before, then post the next day. The FIRST day outta the gate, I forget to change the "draft" date to the "publish" date, so it looked like my 11/1 post went out on 10/31. I'm an idiot, but an anal-retentive one so I had to change the date - I DID post on 11/1. It's not like I'm out to win prizes here, but I am a bit compulsive (i.e. I would have changed the post regardless of NaBloPoMo). Fortunately, I have witnesses. You've got my back on this, right?

Why do we tell kids that violence is not the answer but then in history class have them learn about wars that solved America's problems?

In the span of two days, I've managed to spill not one, not two, but three, yes !THREE! cups of coffee. Granted, one of those cups was actually spilled by Arun, but when one is stupid enough to leave a vessel of liquid within easy grasp of a Toddler, it's fair to say it's your own damned fault when said Toddler spills the cup. Is there a rule on run-on sentences with this NaBloPoMo thing? If so, that first one probably just disqualified me on the spot. Bah.

I've been WAY too positive around here lately and well, we just can't have that..............

Rancid Rant #1: I'm tired of hearing women complain about motherhood and how "hard" it is - one blogger even said it was "dehumanizing". WTF? Jesus H. Christ, when you're a parent, you're raising a HUMAN BEING. Did you think it would be EASY? I would have rather commented on the blogs themselves instead of bitching here because it reeks of Passive Aggressive, but in this day and age if you make a comment on anyone's blog that even has a whiff of "non-compliance" you are labeled a troll and banished. Also, I'm NOT talking about the "Johnny spilled his milk today and I am so irritated" variety of complaint - I'm talking the sort of soul-wrenching, identity-crisis negativity that I am left wondering how their children are going to feel if they ever find it ("Gee, Mama - sorry I stole a piece of your soul "). Why can't women just be proud of being mothers and be done with it? Instead of blaming society, how about soldiering on? Yes, it is hard giving up so much to raise a child - I miss doing raku, I miss taking community college classes, I miss reading as much, I miss Girlfriend Time, I worry that I am not contributing to society enough right now. However, however, however, this is all temporary - Arun will be out the door before I know it, I'd rather give him a good base to face Life with than focus solely on myself right now. I'm the adult, right? I am hoping the investment NOW will reap benefits later in that he is a strong, capable adult who won't need me bailing him out of messes. Then, then, THEN, I can concentrate on whatever next phase of my Life brings me (Hint: I am hoping for some more eduation, perhaps a new degree), Furthermore, I write this blog with the thought that Arun may read it. So yeah, often I am writing some Breezy Bullshit about how grand life is, but I prefer the Forest, folks. Sure, one Tree might be ugly, another might be beautiful, but the Forest is Gorgeous and certainly, Life is better when you sit in awe of the Forest. ........... So there, I said it. And I feel better.

Rancid Rant #2: Here in Kansas we have a thing folks call "traffic circles", I know them as "roundabouts" and have seen them also called "rotaries" as well. Whatever - you know what I am talking about, right? ANYWAY. People need a little lesson on these things. They are a wonderful, delightful piece of Traffic Invention if used PROPERLY. The rules are quite simple - whoever the fuck is IN THE CIRCLE has the right-of-way. Not in the traffic circle already? Then it's NOT YOUR TURN, fool. Already IN the traffic circle? KEEP GOING. Every idiot who stops as they creep towards the traffic circle or worse, stops while WITHIN the traffic circle, completely DEFEATS the very PURPOSE of the traffic circle and we might as well have a 4 way stop again.

Rancid Rant #3: This is not a profound rant, but I am so weary of network television canning programs before they are barely OUT OF THE CAN. There are already whispers of 30 Rock going under. WTF? I fervently hope these are vicious lies, but I shouldn't be surprised. It's one of my favorite new sitcoms, one that makes me giggle like a schoolgirl, so OF COURSE, no one else is watching. Refer to catchphrase of this blog for a refresher on my status of a trendsetter (Hint: NEVER).

UPDATED TO ADD: Hey, maybe I worried about 30 Rock prematurely - apparently, there's still hope!


As a peace offering for the Spate of Negativity that I just spewed all over your computer screen, I offer up some Simian Snaps as a Virtual Kleenex. Sorry about the mess.

These days, Arun would like to WALK, thank you very much. None of that Carrying - that's OLD SCHOOL. Nobody gets CARRIED anymore. GAWD.

But Damn! He's slow as molasses, ya'll. And Toddler? More like Dawdler.

Where's the Love?

For the month of November, I am designating every Thursday as "13 Things I Love Thursday". I stole the "13 Things" idea from Miss Zoot and then scammed the "Love Thursday" idea from Chookooloonks. Original is so YESTERDAY.

I Love.......

1. the very first night my husband leaves town for business trips. I’ll admit it. Freely. Without guilt. Usually that first night is a bit of bliss where I control the remote.... the laptop..... the meals...... my destiny. However, this love for the Absence of X decreases exponentially and by the 3rd night, I am ready for his Sock Strewing self to GET HOME already.


2. old friends. It’s cool having friends who know you and where you’ve been. I had dinner with CG last night and it was really nice. My life is pretty good right now and if anyone can appreciate it, CG can – he certainly saw me cry in my beer enough when I was in my 20s. Sometimes, with new friends, I feel weirdly sheepish about my life now because I have odd hang-ups about money, but with old friends there is no need. They know you don’t take anything for granted.


3. a cool autumn breeze with leaves rustling across the yard. I LOVE that rustling sound. Also, I enjoy walking through the grass and feeling the crunch of the leaves under my heels. If I'm feeling frisky, I like to kick 'em around a bit.
   


4. numbers. In particular, the number 3 by itself or even numbers divisible by 3 or 5. Um, yeah, so 15 is a pretty rockin’ number for me. It bugs me that my birth year is an odd number because the month and day are even numbers. I love that Arun was born in '05 - it was nearly perfection because he was born one day off from his due date of 10/15/05. So close! Don’t ask, I can’t explain it. Don’t we all have a quirk like that? No?


5. purchasing a book. It doesn’t matter if it is used or new, but the purchase of a book gives me a weird cozy feeling mixed with excitement. A book can hold a lot of things in its pages and that gets my blood going. Second to purchasing a book, I love STARTING a book. The initial crack of the page, reading the dedication – a prologue is just Literary Foreplay. Again, with the Not Asking. Refer to #4.


6. incense. X HATES incense. Isn't that against the law for an actual INDIAN not to like incense? Shouldn't incense be a part of his genetic makeup or something? It's bad enough he doesn't have the lilting accent and refuses to do the Asian Head Bob. Anyway, read #1 and add that to the list of things this Mouse loves to do whilst the Cat is Away - BURN INCENSE. My veddy, veddy favorite is Satya Sai Baba Nag Champa, but I also like Shanthimalai Nag Champa. Assuming, I got the names correct. I AM white, after all. What the fuck do I know?


7. a yummy bowl of guacamole and salsa. When I say I am craving Mexican food, what I'm really saying is that my system needs some guac and salsa. An IV headed directly to my hips would be mighty convenient, although I think the guac would just gum the whole thing up.


8. washing dishes. I’ve said this before, but it’s true. Although we have a dishwasher, I still hold back a few items for handwashing. My favorite sponge is the Choreboy and my favorite dishwashing liquid is Dawn Ultra. I have a special holder for the sponge so that it can dry out between washings. I get very irritated if someone doesn't 1) sorta rinse the dish beforehand and instead just swipes the sponge through all the muck and 2) if they don't put the sponge back in its little holder. Really, I just prefer people not wash dishes at my house. Thank you, but NO thank you. No Sirreee.... Have a cup of coffee. Sit back, relax........See? I wasn't kidding. ILOVE washing dishes.
   


9. that first sip of coffee in the morning. It's the BEST. Once in a very, very great while, I still miss that first morning cigarette that used to accompany the joe. Fortunately, I don't miss the cigs that much or even that often. Since we're on the topic, I also love NOT smoking. Once in a very, very great while I get wistful for a drag, but I don't crave it. I will never smoke again. Over 6 years and counting! Stick THAT in yer pipe and smoke it. Or, maybe not.


10. clearing clutter. I cleaned our garage on Saturday and it made my day. I think it may have made me a little high - or maybe that was the incense. The rest of the day was just lovely because I had accomplished something that day and it allowed me to relax.


11. buying my annual wall calendar. It's a careful decision because !Damn! You have to look at the thing ALL YEAR LONG. Cripes, better not screw it up. Decision 2007 is just around the corner. The pressure.


12. Bloglines. Because of this handy dandy web-based application I am reading easily 3 times as many blogs as before. No more endlessly clicking links to check for updates - Bloglines does that for you. Bloglines is gonna be my new BFF this November as I scavenge Fussy for new addictions, er, blogs......
    


13. Halloween - we had nearly 90 trick or treaters last night and it was so much fun. I was so sad to pack away my Halloween decorations yesterday. Is this where I admit I already have an idea for Arun's costume next year?
    
    

Baby Einstein Meets Professor McGonagall and Shows Her Who's Boss.

A witch in a robe with her ward . No lyin'.


A Couple of Hams.

I don't know which is better - the fact that Older Nephew wanted to be "bacon n' eggs" for Halloween or the fact that my sister really, REALLY got off on making his costume. She added "accents" to the bacon using her acrylics. And the detailing on the Toast Tote? This picture doesn't do it justice.

Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions when you aren't quite sure if the questions are rhetorical or not?

Edited to add:Correcting the date because I JUST noticed the publish date on this is 10/31. ACK. I created the draft the night before, then forgot to correct the publish date. ACK. Out of the gate, I am already fucking up!! Fortunately, I have many, many witnesses who can attest to the fact that I actually posted this on 11/1. Unfortunately, they can also attest to the fact that I am an idiot. It's not like I am going to win any prizes, but the obsessive-compulsive part of me can't stand having an incorrect publish date, so I am correcting this. I would normally correct this without comment, but I don't want to be accused of cheating. Nope, not a cheater, just anal-retentive.

Bloggers, start your engines.

It's NaBloPoMo - National Blog Posting Month. I've been scribbling ideas for the past few weeks and I am pretty psyched.

I'd like to start this month off by giving some shout-outs to the bloggers who have inspired me from the Early Days. This is not a "favorites" list - that would be my Blogroll over to the right, check it out. No, the shout-out is just the folks who are fairly original to my Blogroll. These are the folks that prompted me to sign up for a Blogger account. These are the folks that gave me courage to post pictures even though I am not a photographer. These are the folks that motivated me to keep writing. And most importantly, these are the folks that inspired me to read OTHER blogs.

First, props to Blogger. I suspect they are going to be punished this month with so many folks posting. Try not to hate them too much because after all, this is FREE. For the record, I've had few problems with them and thanks to them, this is one of my cheaper hobbies. Damned straight, I wish folks were handing out skeins of yarn for free.

Throwing Things - I have been reading this blog for well over 3.5 years now - I can date it because I remember when Adam, the founder, posted about his newborn daughter. My original idea for Rancid Raves was to be an homage to what they have done over at Throwing Things - they're running a delightful blog over there with Lotsa Linky Love regarding entertainment, pop culture, sports, music and politics (hands down, some of best TV commentary regarding Studio 60, The Amazing Race, etc goes on over there in comments section. Why are you still here? Check 'em out.) Anyway, as you can tell, I didn't even get NEAR to what they have done, but I am still pretty satisfied with what I ended up doing instead. Bonus note: Throwing Things also brought to my attention one of my favorite authors, Jennifer Weiner, Adam's wife. I still wonder what she thought of the crazy woman at her Kansas City book signing who couldn't stop gushing over her HUSBAND'S blog- I was THAT excited to meet the wife of the Throwing Things founder.

Average Jane - a blog I like to call "ironic" because Jane is anything BUT Average. She was the first of my Real Life friends to start blogging. I read her blog for months and just HAD to jump on board because she made it look like so much fun. Damn, was she right.

Goofy Girl and Surrender Dorothy - Both Real Life friends who blog. Through good examples, both have demonstrated the important lesson that I needed to keep something for myself when my own child was born. And for sure, it has helped me retain some Semblance of Sanity this past crazy year.

Rag Water and Bitters and Blue Ruin - I found Rozanne through Average Jane. Her blog used to be titled Anything of Interest? and yes, there usually IS something of interest over there. She lives in Portland, the City of Weird and uses her surroundings to full advantage in providing lots of fun Slice of Life snippets complete with photos.

Piffle- Diana found me through a now-defunct blog, The Rabbit Lived. Through me, she found Rozanne - since Diana lived in Portland herself, this was an exciting find for her and now her and Rozanne are good friends. If that isn't a cool story of how blogging can expand your world and your friendship circle, then your heart is made of stone and you shouldn't even BE HERE. Ahem. Diana is another great Slice of Life blogger and her haikus ROCK. On a sentimental note, X and I received some bad news earlier this year and Diana sent me the most encouraging, helpful, wonderful email ever. It was a long one, full of positive words that I needed to hear in that dark time. Everything is fine now and under control. I keep meaning to email her and thank her, but maybe this will do. Um, yeah - Thanks, Diana. At the time, you said EXACTLY what we needed to hear.

Finally, I'd like to dedicate this month to my Inner Geek. I ignored her for years, but since I have accepted her into my heart, life has been pretty damned good. I will never, ever be cool but understand now that is not what life is about anyway.

I'll never look good in purple and red velour, either.
Bah. Whatever.

How about just plain old Boo? Hiss?

I met my friend R, her daughter K and my sister with her kids at the Boo at the Zoo event on Saturday. While I felt like I was totally exploiting my kid for a chance at Sugar and Red No. 40, the treats were GOOD. Like Twinkies, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and OMIGOD, Almond Joys, that veritable Sugary Trinity of chocolate, coconut and almonds. If you haven't ever done a Boo at the Zoo event, I can't recommend it enough- particularly if you are a Halloween Nut. I have gone to it even before I was a parent and it was just as much fun then. It's crazy to see all the costumes and yes, I'll admit I had fun in my Professor McGonagall outfit.

In other news, Operation Take Back the House, a venture where I attempt to gain control over the growing clutter by sorting through every closet, cabinet, drawer and storage bin in our house is going at an AWESOME rate. I finished the garage on Saturday and X's office today. The garage had gotten out of control, which started about 8 months ago when X's company's Kansas City corporate apartment was let go and someHOW, we ended up stuck with some other folk's SHIT including a set of GOLF CLUBS. WTF? This totally violated my very strict policy regarding my garage that mandates we be able to actually PARK OUR CARS in it. Yeah, I'm a picky bitch like that - expecting to park my CARS in my GARAGE - Who Am I? Anyway, my goal for Operation Take Back the House is to be completed by the end of November, but at this rate, I will be done sooner. Look for Exciting!Updates! all November because after all, I will be posting EVERY SINGLE DAY. Ya'll come back now, ya hear?

I would be remiss not to address the fact that there has been a slew of negativity emanating in the Blogiverse, particularly aimed at the Mommybloggers. I'd like to take a moment and say thank you to everyone who comes by this little neck of the Blogiverse to read or to say "hi" or to just offer encouraging words. I am not a Power Blogger and probably never will be. I do this blog primarily for ME because it's FUN. While it doesn't bother me if others accept advertisement, I specifically decided a month ago to not participate in such a venture after having a heart-to-heart with myself. I hesitate to do anything whatsoever that may make this blog feel like WORK - I did do a business once with a hobby and it was a bit of a disaster because I ended up HATING the hobby (this is also why you literally can't pay me to knit). Anyway, if blogging is only a hobby, then the minute it stops being fun, I can close shop and pull out, right?

However, that's easier said than done - it's because of everyone coming by here that this has remained fun for me. To boot, I have made some incredible friends because of blogging. So, I have a hard time seeing a future where I don't keep a blog. I also have a hard time seeing a blog where I don't share pictures of my kid and my life. I do understand why other parents may stop posting pics of their children. We all have to do only what we are comfortable with doing. I could go on and on and on stating why I don't think it is a problem to post pictures of Arun, but I am not going to. Every parent's perspective is unique to their situation. In short, I don't think I am exploiting him or exposing him to danger by posting pictures, since this blog is a way that I share what's going on in my life with my friends and family. I think Arun and I are in far greater danger every time we go to the mall, go to Target or drive in the wrong part of town. Just as we had to when we went to the Zoo on Saturday.

Anyway, I did want to thank you - all my friends and family - for reading this blog.

Give peace a chance.