What's in YOUR wallet?

For a crummy start, the weekend ended up being fabulous. The crummy start? On Friday, I had a miserable morning. After much planning, the work trip to Seattle I am supposed to be going on NEXT WEEK, may or may not be happening. I may or may not find out today, if we are going next week, the week after, OR the week after that. I also get to schedule TWO doctor's appointments for the same time period and I guess, oh, just cross my fingers I get to attend. Health be damned when you work for Big Al, I suppose. Anyway, after that sort of morning, I decided I needed to treat myself to a nice lunch. I went to Californo’s in Westport and had a lovely meal – I ate outside under their covered patio and it was raining pretty hard. I LOVE rain, so this was a special treat for me. Afterwards, I went to Murray’s Ice Cream for the obvious (read: frozen dairy dessert) So, imagine the proverbial scene of a pregnant chick sitting on a bench on a nice Friday afternoon eating her creamy treat. As I was enjoying said treat, a car comes to a screeching halt in front of me. A guy gets out and runs right past me and then leaps 4-5 stairs at a time all the way down a very long staircase near me (it freaked me out at first because I was sure he was going to break his neck). Then, his buddy, the driver, follows suit. THEN, two police officers come tearing past me. I could have tripped all these guys; they were passing so closely to me! Then it dawned on me – the two guys running by were actually running AWAY from the police officers. I got up from the bench, threw my ice cream in the trash and resisted the urge to totally hurl in the trash can as well. I went to my car to get the hell out of the area but THE POLICE CRUISER WAS PARKED BEHIND ME. I was blocked. The cops did manage to catch one of the guys and dragged him back – all in all, I was stuck there for 45 minutes just waiting for my car to be free. Yikes.

Luckily, the rest of the weekend was great. Our friends from Boston, S and A, were in town. They had never been to Kansas City before, so it was fun to show them around and prove that many of us here have normal-colored necks and that no, we do not have cows running in the streets (not normally, anyway). We went to Lawrence on Saturday – had a nice meal and drove them through the University of Kansas campus. Sunday, we drove them around Kansas City. Basically, it was a nice, relaxing weekend of eating good food and hanging out with a fun couple.

Funny – last week I was suffering from incredible indigestion and had to scramble to buy some TUMS. I usually have an iron stomach, so this quite distressing but I chalked it up to the Little Freeloader. However, by Saturday evening, I was back to my usual self. Of course, whatever relaxing benefits I gained from the weekend were quickly wiped out by 10AM today and I suspect I may be scrambling for those TUMS again. Still, I am relieved that it seems work-related – this kid better get used to curries NOW.

So, how did it go?

My meeting with the Not So “Super”visor went FINE. I totally over-reacted. In my defense, the atmosphere around here has such an aura of Gossip and Innuendo that everyone is a bit paranoid, to say the least. I have offices all over the country calling me to get the scoop on the Big Burper (Read: they haven’t sent US an email, but apparently other offices had no qualms about announcing her departure) Anyway, I am glad my freak-out was “much ado about nothing”, rather than “much ado about SOMEthing”. I think wigging out was good for me since I went into the meeting completely prepared with action items and things I have accomplished in case she tried to skewer me.

Anyway………….. So, last night, my sister gave me a firm reprimand on my reference to this creature inside of me as “the kid”. She thinks I should say “the baby” instead. Seinfeld notwithstanding, the term “the baby” annoys me for some reason. My grandma refers to one of my 4 year-old cousins as “the baby” – could that be the reason for my irritation? Besides, what’s wrong with “the kid”?*

In part, my sister’s attitude probably lies in the fact that she approaches this stuff in a dreamy state complete with the clouds clearing and the angels on high singing.** While I think this stuff is very cool, I am well aware that it is the result of years of evolution – it’s BIOLOGY.*** Yes, it is kick-ass but I am one of millions doing it.**** Wanna try miracles? How about my friend that went through miles of red tape with 2 different governments, had strangers scouring her house for potential Danger, forked over tons of $$$, THEN hopped on a plane TWICE to travel thousands of miles to meet her child. A son who couldn’t be more perfect or suited for her and her husband had they given birth to him. A son who, from the beginning, is so like them in personality that it is downright scary. Um, THAT’S a miracle in my books.

So, while saying “the kid” may rub others the wrong way, I will continue to do so knowing that I love ”this kid” more than anything else in the world (well, just after X, that is) all while fervently hoping that I raise “a kid” with half the sense of humor that my dad instilled in me.

And if the angels on high do come calling in October? That’s fine, too!! I enjoy a good chorus line.

*While hamster comments are always welcome, please leave out the baby goat ones. Thanks, The Management.

** She even tried to convince me once that changing Older Nephew’s poopy diaper was a great way to bond. Nice try, sistah.

***Yes, yes, YES, I believe in God, but really, don’t you think he could have created evolution and biology? He’s GOD, for goodness sake!

**** AND I am doing it in a 1st world country with 1st rate healthcare while married to a 1st rate husband. I may be cynical, but never, ever accuse me of being ungrateful or I shall have to hunt you down.

Anyone know?

I have done a bit of research on my legal rights in the working place while I am pregnant. Unfortunately, there is nothing there about what to do when your manager is a complete and utter bitch. Now, she has requested a meeting with me tomorrow. When I went to her office to ask what it would be concerning (oh, I don’t know, so maybe I could be PREPARED), she replied that she “just wanted to check in with me”. Basically, this gal is a master of sneak attacks. She will save all your indiscretions for weeks, then lay ‘em all on you at once.

What makes me feel terrible is that the Freeloader has been moving A LOT these past few days. I mean, the kid generally kicks around a bit after orange juice or a workout, but I can’t help but feel awful that now the little critter is flailing about because of all the adrenaline rushing through my body. I feel sick to my stomach from all the stress* and then it just makes me feel even worse to feel the kid kicking about as if to say “Hey! Yo! What’s going on out there?”.

I fear my manager wants to confront me about the fact that I will be leaving after the kid arrives. I don’t think she can do that. Does anyone know? I have been towing the party line of working til October, coming back after that. I guess I could lie, but I still think it sucks that I even need to do THAT.

*Keep in mind that there still has been no announcement that the Big Burper had burped her last. We have people traipsing by all day long asking “Where is she? Did she get fired? What happened?”

Can you keep a secret?

There was a time when X would go out of town and I would cherish those days alone on my Husband Vacation. Now, his trips are so frequent that I fear I am starting to suffer a little bit of ADD because I am certainly feeling disordered due to the deficit of attention from the spouse these days. I am nearing the point where I may damn well throw his socks all over the place MYSELF just to keep from missing him. I haven’t complained too much because he has been working his tail off these days and is exhausted – the last thing he needs is to feel bad about it since it’s not his fault. Still I miss him. And yes, I am fully aware this is a GOOD thing.

People are dropping like flies around here and per usual, Big Al hides his head like an ostrich. Since I am in information security, I get the request to delete the person’s access. Imagine my surprise how often I am getting these requests AFTER the person leaves. It would be nice to have a little notice AND it would be nice to be able to say GOODBYE to the person leaving. When I give MY notice cough, cough you can be sure I will sending out my own little "announcement". Speaking of my impending departure – there are better kept secrets in Hollywood (Tom loves Katie? Tara Reid likes to drink? JLo’s butt is the size of Marc’s ego?) In fact, just yesterday Really Cool Gal told me that she let my boss know I wouldn’t be coming back after the baby is born in October. Hmmmmmm First, Really Cool Gal, you have just been downgraded to Really Tepid Gal and second, try July. Yeah, you heard me. I won’t be coming back after that little known holiday aptly named INDEPENDENCE Day and damn straight – you won’t know this until I give my notice to HR. That’s what I get for trying to be honest with her – the ONE person I thought I could trust here. Sigh.

I was feeling conflicted about quitting early. I mean, it does seem excessive to have 3 whole kid-free months. However, this conflict was easily resolved after yesterday and merely cemented further after this morning. Besides, when X and I first discussed my leaving so early, I came up with a “project plan” of sorts for all the things that I could work on over the summer (this was to justify to MYSELF as to why I should quit. X doesn't care one way or another.) Believe you me, toting my great-aunt P to do her shopping sounds MIGHTY appealing just about now. I’d rather be cruising around in the hot sun with an 84 year old than be in this joint.

How bad?

Last week was a little crazy – I had training and then took Friday off to prepare for the wedding over the weekend. This morning when I came to work, I noticed something was amiss as I passed the Big Burper’s cube this morning. The Toucan Sam piñata was missing and it appeared the kennel of Beanie Babies had either run away or been euthanized. The betta fish were gone and the jungle of plants had been reduced to a few piddly stalks of greenery. Folks, the Big Burper was GONE. A mysterious fart-free atmosphere has descended upon Big Al’s Kansas City lair. After tracking down my Really Cool Co-Worker (the only Cool one in existence here), I learned that the Big Burper had come in on Friday and gave her notice for 5:00 PM that day. Evil Manager told her to go ahead and make it 9:00 AM. Yikes. I almost feel sorry for the Evil Manager, but decided I would feel sorry for myself MORE because guess who gets to pick up the slack NOW? Yep – the two people left who already had enough on their plates. Eek. I need to get to work on that Exit Strategy STAT. The first few steps are complete (Step 1: Conception, Step 2: Make it to the 2nd Trimester, Step 3: Sell Rental Property) and it is nearing completion, but DAMN - this place is coming apart at the seams. As per usual, no word or mention of the fact that someone is GONE. Lord Almighty, these people are more repressed than the entire cast of characters in The Corrections put together.

So this weekend was absolutely exhausting, but the wedding was beautiful. My friend S. looked absolutely stunning in her dress! It was a very nice wedding and I was honored to be a part of it. She and I have been through a lot these past 10+ years and it was great to see her marrying such a very cool guy who is just completely bonkers over her.