August 31, 2006

Aren’t pictures worth a 1000 words?

This has been a lovely week, but not much in the way of providing blog fodder. I am going to slap out some snappage, instead. Pay particular note to the Curry Plant - that baby is something I have been lusting after for over a year now. You see, come January, curry leaves are hard to come by. We have a teeny plant, but it only has about THREE meals worth of leaves on it, so I am hesitant to pluck too much foliage off of it. But NOW? I can hold my own Indian buffet with this beauty.

Anyway, enjoy the Slapdashed Snappage......

Actually, I CAN Quit You, Gerber.

After throwing away container after container after container of things like peaches and bananas, then being subjected to Arun climbing all over me Hankering for Hunks of ACTUAL peach and banana every time I happened to cut one up, I decided to give up on Gerber and their nefarious corporate tactics. I unloaded all of the rest of Gerber's crap from the cupboard and foisted it upon my sister. However, I will admit this dirty little secret -I kept the sweet potato puff thingies. Holy shit, those things are D-LISH, but so damned expensive that I refer to them as Baby Caviar.

Muffin Top THIS, Yo.

Here is Alliclaus (Bethiclaus’s daughter ) showin’ off her Baby Muffin Top glory. Also, notice the vintage cow toy in the background. We had playgroup at S’s house this Tuesday and seriously, S has the motherload of vintage toys! All the classics from when WE were kids. Next playgroup, I will take pictures so we can ALL ride our Big Wheels down the Lane of 1970s Memories.

ERA is SO 1970s.

This book is meant for BOYS - if you're packin' only Xs, move along, Little Lassie. MOVE ALONG. And they meant BUSINESS with the age guidelines - I think there was some fine print about asking for ID. Anyway, to answer the question, judging from his eyes, it's probably "dope" (as my grandmother still calls it to this day). Furthermore, Methinks perhaps the author was in possession of some, too.

Some Pockets are Best Left Alone.

You know how everyone seemed to have That Uncle? You KNOW, That Uncle who would say things that seemed just a smidgeon short of Inappropriate, but you could never quite put your finger on it enough to tell your mom? This reminded me of my own That Uncle.

A Lesson in International Diplomacy.

Children, this is a curry plant. It hails from the Land of India. Indians reside on the sub-continent of Asia. But you can still call them Arabs. They don't mind! Now Children, curry plants do not yield actual CURRY powder. It's a trick being played trickish-like on you by those Tricky Little Indians so they can twitter behind your backs as you ask such FOOLISH questions. Children, the lesson here is, beware the Man who nods "Yes" when he actually means "No".*

The Beginnings of the Great Peace Accord of 2006.

X told me this was going on in our bedroom. OUR BEDROOM. The nerve! Cats and babies sleeping in harmony!?! Don't they know the RULES?!? I snuck upstairs to take a picture and DUDE, I woke them both up. I quickly slithered back downstairs before X even realized what I had done, because DUDE, I woke the baby up and that shit just don’t fly around our house. X came downstairs quizzically all "Wow, that was a short nap?" and I was all like "Don't know nuthin' about nuthin'".

August 28, 2006

Monday is the New Friday?

The weekend was AWESOME. Friday was spent with friends eating AWESOME food and desserts that we brought from Andre's that were AWESOME. They have an adorable dog who actually followed Arun around once he figured out that food was to be had. I handed Arun a piece of bread only to observe the dog a few seconds later trotting away, licking his snout. TOO CUTE and Arun was on Cloud 9 the entire evening. Saturday was Canasta night with the gals and we played a variation called Hand and Foot that was AWESOME (be sure to follow the link for the most AWESOME card game site. Name a card game and for sure, Pagat's got it. AWESOME.) Sunday, was an AWESOME day spent with X and Arun. We had Indian buffet and Arun got it all over his clothes, which STAINS, which is NOT so AWESOME, unfortunately. However, X spent most of Sunday afternoon with Arun leaving me free to do fun stuff like read and clean the kitchen counters. Which was AWESOME, because I love me a clean ass kitchen. And the kitchen? Is so clean, we could EAT off the counters. AWESOME. Oh, and after I cleaned all the crumbs off the counter, I retired the Crumb Pooping Toaster and swore in the New AWESOME Toaster, who promises to never, ever let loose a big ole dump of crumbs. Which is, you guessed it, AWESOME.

In the News......... In a continuing quest to pare down the stress in my life, a few weeks ago, I mandated that Mondays would be Mood Days. Meaning, I am going to do whatever I am in the MOOD To Do. I will make a concentrated effort to make NO plans, whatsoever, and will only do spontaneous sorts of activities. Before the Mood Days Mandate, I found that I was getting overwhelmed with going, going, going all the time and hoped that having one "free" day might be the Answer. So far, Mood Days have been pretty cool. It's very freeing to wake up in the morning and not have to do anything - just having the whole day laying (lying? Help! Wordnerd!) around. HA. Who am I kidding here? Today, I rifled through paperwork, paid bills, took a walk, went to the mall, went to Costco, went to Target, had my sister and grandma over to visit, read a bit, did some laundry, cooked a nice dinner (chicken masala and couscous), started my chart for TV Season 2006/07, AND watched the finale of Deadwood (Bah. Disappointing. OBVIOUSLY, they thought they were going to have another season to work with. Boo on HBO.) Oh and yeah....somewhere in all that, I even managed to spend time with Arun. Still, it is great to have ONE somewhat free day. No complaints.

In Other News..............My friend R had a spectacular idea. After hunting around for a Kansas City Stitch n' Bitch to no avail, she determined that WE needed to start one. Look for a post with details coming soon to a blog near you! I am very excited. I had been frustrated with my lack of knitting and had recently made a vow to renew the effort. While reading is a great hobby and I have kept on it since having had Arun, I still need something CREATIVE. To that end, I am definitely going to start devoting more time to the ole Needles and Yarn. The KC Stitch n' Bitch will help me towards that goal and kudos to R for coming up with the idea.

In Other, Other News...........It looks like we are going back to TiVo. As X wryly observed, "We're coming full circle." But, it's all good. Basically, we started out with TiVo, then went to Dish and gave the TiVo to my mom because Dish and TiVo did NOT get along. Frankly, Dish's DVR was pretty awesome, but their customer service everytime we had a problem? SUCKED ASS. Couple that with unreliable signals and it wasn't pretty. I even cried a few times because they were SO frustrating. So, then we went to Comcast and while the service is very reliable, the DVR is TERRIBLE. I could write an entire post on all the various bugs it has. I even called them about it and they didn't really seem to care that their DVR has more bugs than my fucking basement (that's saying a lot, too. Because the bugs in my basement? Are probably plotting a takeover.) Anyway, we are going back to TiVo. We are in a holding pattern right now waiting for the Series 3 to see if we can afford it - we have seen price estimates all over the board on it and some of them are downright SCARY prices, too. However, I am hopeful and have already offered up My Christmas 2006 AND My Birthday 2007. If the price is right? I'd be willing to pony up Mother's Day 2007 - that's how badly I am jonesin' for the Series 3.

So, that's the News around Rancid le Manse. Not bad, really.

August 24, 2006

Isn't it ironic?

Despite the spate of negativity I have spewed here lately, it has actually been an AWESOME week. For example, the playgroup yesterday was really fun - it was such a diverse mix. Yeah, it bothered me that M is so Nervous, but overall, it was an interesting group. One note about the babyproofing - X and I did not just wave our hands at it and pronounce it useless. We discussed very carefully what we were willing To Do and Not To Do. For example, gates are not up all over the place - the compromise is that we watch Arun like a hawk. We do have gates for some of the rooms upstairs and we move them around with us. Also, I don't have the gate on the 4th step, but rather the 3rd step. Basically, we don't have a good setup for leaving Arun unattended anyway, so why go crazy with the Safety Dance?

SO, like I mentioned, it has been a GREAT week. Once I gave up on the novel idea that Arun would take Textbook Naps, the days have been easier. I have a Catnapper for a son and life is better now that I have just accepted that. Nighttime has been going well, too. Since X is out of town, I can put Arun in his crib around 8:00ish and he fusses himself to sleep within 30 minutes or so. He gets up around midnight or so, but then I just pull him into bed with me. No wonder I was going a little freaky - these past few nights have been downright DELICIOUS having such large blocks of time to myself. Last night, I frolicked around the house until nearly 1:00 am. I was downright giddy with Kid Free Glee.

I have really been enjoying him lately. I try very hard to let things like dishes and clutter go by the wayside and just hang out watching him play with the bazillion toys he has in his possession. In fact, this week has gone so good, that Cousin J didn't come yesterday because she was sick and I wasn't even disappointed. In fact, I was a little relieved because Arun and I were still having fun when 3:30 rolled around. Today, I called her and said to not worry about coming over, either. I was going to the farmer's market and wanted to take him with me. We wrapped up the evening by having dinner at Blue Koi, browsing Prospero's bookstore for awhile, then coming home and playing some more.

Really, just a lovely evening. And the bonus? X is coming home TONIGHT, instead of Friday. I've been missing him this week, so it will be good to see him. Also, I bought a new toaster that I am dying to show him.

To make up for the Negativity lately, I present a Peace Offering in the form of Snappage....

Already pushing little old ladies outta the way. Just plain RUDE.

He loved pushing Great Aunt P's walker around. He was also pretty impressed with her cane, wheelchair and apparatus for the oxygen tank. Do we have a Male Nurse in the making?

Walker. Stalker. Talker.

Besides having my own personal stalker (restraining orders, anyone?), I also have my own little chatterbox. He wakes up and immediately starts babbling. And doesn't really shut up for the rest of the day. Also, he is obsessed with the toy walker thingie. In the past few days, he has learned how to actually turn it around, so now he is all over the place with it. The look of Pride on his face as he strolls by? Priceless. He's also started standing sans Support, although he doesn't stand for long. Everyone says I am "in trouble", but since he's already mobile, I am not sure what that "trouble" could be. Perhaps, I don't want to know?

Takin' a Chance on the Safety Dance.

He started pulling out sacks a few at a time and I thought, "Aw, what the hell?" Little did I know. I swear I turned for like half a minute. I wonder if my hopes for Mother of the Year are finally dashed for good?

Actually, his Bark IS bigger than his Bite.

Because he is still in possession of a mere TWO teeth. Still, how can you resist Gooeylicious Cheeks interspersed with Twin Chiclets?

Life is but a Game.

We have two games that provide this smiling reaction. A rousing rendition of "I'm Gonna Get You", actually GETS him. The 2nd one involves simply counting "1...2...3".... He knows that SOMETHING is going to happen after 3, he's just not sure what because we switch it out for variety (or to save our own Sanity, at least). Anyway, this works equally well in Hindi. Next week? Spanish. After that? Japanese. The sooner we get crackin' on those SAT skills, the better - right?

A Mushroom Cloud of HAIR.

I swear I did NOT Photoshop this head. It's the real thing in all its Nuclear Inspired Glory. Au naturale, babycakes!

August 22, 2006

What's that FDR line about "Fear"?

A long, rambling Post.
The One Where I Prove This Blog is Really For Me........

When Arun was a scant 3 weeks old, I started going to the breastfeeding support group at my hospital - it's offered on the 2nd and 4th Wednesdays of the month. It was a NoBrainer decision to begin going - the hospital is a mere minutes away, it offered a great resource for breastfeeding and general baby questions, it gave me the opportunity to weigh Arun on a regular basis, and most importantly, it got me out of the house. Over the months, as I watched mother after mother go back to work when her maternity leave ended, I realized that I needed to make some Social Connections while people were actually still attending. To this end, I started asking people to go Mall Trolling on the alternate Wednesdays. At first, this worked out fine because it was winter anyway and our babies were small. Then, as our babies got older, we started getting together on other days to allow said babies the chance to interact and exchange pathogens. Regardless of which day we are actually meeting, my friend S and I refer to it as the Wednesday group because we must lack some sort of creative gene, I guess. Anyway, when I first started doing all of this, I made a solemn vow to myself to not allow this group to become delicious blog fodder. And we all know what the very best, most delicious of all blog fodder is, don't we? The Snarkastically Delicious kind, of course. But I have fought the Good Fight and resisted temptation.

Yes, I have been Patient. And Good. To the very best of my Blogging Abilities. However, I'd like to post just this once, just a little. ........

The Wednesday group met at my house today and in all honesty, was one of the best gatherings ever. It was SO fun and such a DIVERSE mix of folks because in addition to the Wednesday group, I invited some people that I met through blogging....... Amanda (a regular commenter here who I met because of the Dearly Departed blog, The Rabbit Lived) was there with her son N. Bethiclaus (who I met because we both read Amalah) was there with her daughter Alliclaus (Rancid Tangent: Um, is it kidnapping if it happens in your OWN home? Um, like, if I just happened to maybe "accidently" stash Alliclaus away in a closet, do you think Bethiclaus would notice? Is that against the law? Seriously, that child is one of the sweetest, most delicious babies on the Internet. Check her out. I wonder if Mexican-Americans do the arranged marriage thingamabob like the Indians?? Arun's going to be on the Market before you know it. ) But I digress........Of the Wednesday group, S was there with her daughter A.... M was there with her son..... And finally, C was there briefly with her daughter, BUT she was actually there to introduce her husband R - she is going back to work full-time and her husbad is taking the reins. Yep, we have ourselves a SAHD in the group. Which is very awesome - it's sorta like when WASPs say "Oh, but we have a Jew AND a Lesbian in our social circle" to prove their diversity. Now, we can say we have a DAD in ours! Jealous, much?? Anyway, don't underestimate having a SAHD in your playgroup! In the span of ONE playgroup he showed me where I need to tack down some loose carpeting. So, yeah - it was very cool having a SAHD - he had the Dad's point of view on Parenting and the Husband's point of view on Everything Else.

Okay. Here's where I vent a little. Or a lot. Or maybe not at all. Whatever.

M is a bit of a Nervous Nellie. I have always known this and for the most part, don't really care. But this time? It made me feel uncomfortable for some reason. I mean, I am in my OWN home and yeah, it's not child-proofed to the hilt, but I at least keep the liquor locked up, okay? And yeah, I have some homemade toys around - lentils with rice in a water bottle seemed to really bother her, though. When her son was playing with it, she was quick to take it away from him. Um, NONE of the kids there today were in possession of nearly enough Gross nor Fine Motor skills required to get the bottle open. Furthermore, even if they did? Rice and lentils aren't choking hazards. And I do understand that most folks aren't comfortable with the babygate being on the 4th step, instead of the bottom, so I did move that down, at least. It's not the first time that someone, besides M, has expressed Pressed Lips Quietness at how I do things concerning Baby Safety.

I am very torn on the this whole baby safety thing. Maybe I AM too relaxed. For the most part, we have all toxic things locked/out of reach, we're child-proofing doors/drawers and we've stuffed most outlets with those plastic thingies (hello, Electricity!) but we primarily depend on good old-fashioned Vigilence. Arun goes room to room with me throughout the day. We have an open floor plan to our house that doesn't really lend itself well to any sort of Baby Confinement, anyway and since this whole SAHM thing is my Job, I don't mind having a Shadow. Furthermore, in some areas, I think it is SAFER to teach a child a skill under close supervision, rather than totally cutting off the Danger. For example, Arun is a Champ when it comes to stairs - he can safely go up AND down them. However, does he get free rein? Hell No. Make that a HELL NO. But, I do keep the gate at the 4th step with a pillow at the bottom so that he can get ample practice in the meantime. Is this where I mention that he fell once when the gate was still at the 1st step but he hasn't fallen since?

So, I am not sure why, but M's attitude today really bothered me. REALLY.BOTHERED.ME. Perhaps, babyproofing goes a lot further than just keeping your baby safe and that it taps into something much deeper ? A Mother's Worst Nightmare Come True? I do think that M would be surprised to know I am actually a very fearful person. I call it the Rising Paranoia in the Back of Your Throat and FUCK, it's always there. ALWAYS THERE. And as a mother, I see it as one of my primary responsibilities to constantly beat it the FUCK DOWN.

Folks, on a daily basis, I have to tell myself that everything is going to be okay. That my India-born husband is going to be okay even though he travels all the time and is subject to the Risk of Idiocy that comes with having Brown Skin and a Green Passport in this country. I comfort myself knowing that at least he speaks fucking good English and we have a Christian last name, as Curious that may seem (Christians? In India?!?!).

When I get in the car??? I have to tell myself that fatal car crashes are actually rare and how many people do I know that have actually been in one? One. J's husband - which still shakes me to the core. But to that end, I did buy the Ridiculous Carseat for Arun.

When I fly in an airplane??? God, I am afraid. Yes, I just typed that - the person who travels ALL THE TIME and has taken her 10 month old son on SIX airplane trips, coast-to-coast, thus far. Every time the plane TAKES OFF and LANDS, I do a bit of what I like to call Reflection and I renew my faith in God.

When I wake up at 3:00 AM for Whatever Reason and X is out of town??? I have to talk myself from the Ledge that tries to convince me that someone is breaking in to my home. And this happens at least once, every time X is out of town.

The Greatest Fear of All? The one in which ALL mothers are in possession? The fear of dying before your child even knows Who You Are?? Enter J's Husband. Enter my own grandfather, my dad never knew him because he died when my dad was a baby. It is one of the very reasons why I continue to blog even though I will never be a Power Blogger and I will never get tons of "Love you, love your blog" comments. I feel safe blogging because I know that if I DO die tomorrow, I can hold fervent to the belief that someone I know will print all this blather into hard copy so that Arun can see that while I appreciated a nicely executed Run-On Sentence, Good Sarcasm and Foul Language, that I did love him more than just about anything but his Daddy, which is saying VOLUMES because I love his Daddy A LOT. Actually, maybe it's even a tie between those two.

Damn, the list could go on and on and on regarding how fearful I am - I didn't even cover my paranoias concerning raw chicken. The point is, I don't want to pass these Fears to my son. The successful, productive members of our society are not Fearful People. People who are afraid usually accomplish I want my son to Live. And for that, I have to constantly stuff my fears deep inside. And I will keep the gate on the 4th step. And I won't buy the toilet lock. And I will hold firm to the fact that we have NO history of food allergies and that even though clams LIVE in the sea, they are not, in fact SEAFOOD. And I will continue to depend on my elbow to determine the water's temperature. And I will let him ride a bike. Someday. And I will get him a passport so that we might go to India where GODKNOWS what sort of germs might lie in wait and where for sure, carseats are not fashionable. And I might, just MIGHT, let him play football, even though I would rather he'd hunker down with some Harry Potter...............

So, this evening when I picked Arun off the floor to give him a kiss and immediately got a pungent whiff of cat food on his breath, what else could I do but laugh?

Frank Herbert, Dune
I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

August 21, 2006

Isn't "Routine" just fancy talk for "Boring"?

Here's a Rancid Rant for you (all 3 of you). Nothing interesting, just mark this one off as the most boring post EVEH, but I need to get this Rant outta my pants....

I remember reading during my pregnancy that all the Wise Baby Tomes solemnly preached that "baby needs a routine otherwise, his eternal soul will grow moldy" or something to that effect, anyway. While it would be easy to blame all the Travel for the lack of Routine around our house, the truth? Most of our Routine begins and ends with whine of the coffee grinder. Arun doesn't even flinch as I blearily fumble around for the button, at least I count to 3 to give warning. Perhaps, Deafness at this point? Anyway, the lack of Routine is partly Arun's fault - He Who Naps in 45 Minute Increments makes it difficult to plan activities consistently. And the Activities? Must be planned or BOTH of us will go Apeshit With Boredom. Think I am kidding? He gets pretty fucking cranky when Cabin Bound which does no small service for MY mood, either.

SO, I am starting to feel remiss in my Mothering Duties because we have No Routine. I am not entirely convinced that one is needed and I am not even sure where to being in establishing one. So, last week, keeping in mind that I would gladly ohsweetJESUS plan my entire life including menstrual cycle around a Nap, I went about trying to determine some sort of routine for us. To disasterous effect. I attempted to stay home as much as possible, not planning any "big, all-day outings" so that I could see, just out of curiousity, perhaps, or maybe what his schedule might be.

First, I thought I would try to make breakfast. I am not a Breakfast Person. I am a Coffee Person. But I gave the June Cleaver route a whirl by making toast, then putting out some Cheerios, yogurt, and fruit. And we ate it properly at the kitchen table (as opposed to me sitting on the floor by the coffee table per usual for most of our meals)......Bah....... Eating breakfast made me SICK. Like, seriously, I felt queasy eating so early in the day.

Second, we basically can't leave the house before 11:00am. He consistently takes a morning nap, but never, EVER at the same time. Therefore, it is best to make NO plans until 11:00. Then, whenever he DOES wake up, I have a scant 2.5 - 3 hours in which to do anything before the Rounds of Incremental Naps begin. Then, we come home and the Rounds o' Naps begin. Such as.......Put Arun down for 45 minutes, scurry like a rat getting things done, Arun wakes up, entertain Arun for maybe an hour or so, put Arun down for ANOTHER 45 minutes, scurry like a rat, and go round and round and round ......

Third, 8:00 PM arrives and I put Arun in his crib and begin the Waiting. If X is in town, thus begins the Parental Tug o' War we have going on. I am NOT an advocate of Crying It Out and am vehemently against it*, but I am totally comfortable letting Arun fuss for 45-60 minutes if need be after which, he usually goes to sleep. X, on the other hand? Can't let his son cry for ONE minute. Great balls of fire, not a single tear shall be shed. So, last week was stressful. This week? Since X left for the "real world of Virginia" last night, I am hoping to work on the night situation.

I tried, people. I really tried........ Since I was trying to figure out what Arun Would Like To Do, I even went super easy on planning much of anything last week. Which meant, by the end of the week, I was going slightly stir-crazy and was even more behind in my Social Obligations. See, here's the thing. I read all these SAHM blogs where the moms feel alone, isolated, bored or whatever. I feel the complete opposite. I have so many things to do and so many people to see, I get very stressed out about it. Not knowing what the nap situation is doesn't help, particularly when I am driving to Kansas City, Leavenworth and Lawrence - I need to account for drive times when meeting with folks. Not having a 2-3 hour block of Nappage doesn't help.

I don't know what the answer is. Fuck, I don't even know the question. I guess I just needed to vent.

The End.

*There is reliable brain research out there regarding this upon which I have based my opinion. But I don't want to argue or debate. Every parent has to do what he/she is comfortable doing.

I wrote all of that Rant this afternoon, as I was attempting to get Arun to take Nap #3. I gave up on said Nap, we went to see my Friend A who FINALLY gave birth after like a month of hard labor which still resulted in a c-section, poor thing. Her incredibly sweet mother-in-law gave Arun an Apple. Like, handed him an APPLE, whereupon he immediately tried to gnaw on it unsuccessfully with his total of TWO Teeth. We were laughing and I whispered quickly to A, "This MUST go on the blog. Can I? pleaseohplease?" After visiting A, Arun and I went to the park and had a lovely time. Then, we had a bath where I had to drag him out when the water got cold and his feet were getting prune-ish.

Damn. Life IS good. What am I bitching about?

Space Cowbaby

Even though my Type A personality is really taking a beating these days and I am ever so weary of my cluttered, disorganized house, he's worth it. Like, DUH, of course. Organize DVDs? Or sit and watch him play? I suppose I have had tougher quarries, er... quandaries.

Yo!Baby! You're just a YoBaby.

Look closely for the disappearing cracker. It's as if the alligator is trying to bring it down for a Death Roll.

August 20, 2006

Monkey see, Monkey do?

Today's "constructive, positive" post is brought to you by the word "Macaca" and is dedicated to the Memory of the Campaign that used to belong to George Allen's cracker'd, lily-white* ass (and PUH-leez - he KNEW what he was doing). Besides, it's important to "motivite and inspire people for something". Whatever that "something" may be, is apparently left to Individual Interpretation .

SCENE: Target, dairy aisle
Crusty old woman, reaching out to hairy baby boy: Oh! Look at that baby with BIG hair!
Cagey, slapping at blue-veined hands: Git yer hands off my macaca!

SCENE: Cagey, reading to her son.
Cagey: This is George. He lived in Africa. He was a good little Macaca and always very curious.

SCENE: Aixois, 55th and Brookside. Outside, Brown Man holding a baby that suspiciously looks like a Monkey waves to White Woman sitting inside. Monkey Baby shrieks and laughs at White Woman.
Cagey, paying the bill while gesturing to fellow patrons: Don't worry, those are just my macacas!

SCENE: X and Cagey, lounging around in bed.
Cagey, purring seductively: Mmmmm, Mera Macaca.

*Not that there is anything necessarily WRONG with a lily-white ass. I mean, MINE was pretty frickin'' white the last time I looked. But, at least it's not Cracker'd.

Behold, the Power that is the Monkey

DUDE, don't MESS with the Monkey.

August 18, 2006

How do I love thee?

Let me.......


the ways.

I don't brag about X that much - or at least I don't think I do. As much as I love being Arun's Parent, I particularly appreciate being Arun's Parent with X. Parenting is such a tough job, I can't imagine doing it Alone or with the Wrong Person. And for sure, becoming parents has made our marriage stronger - at least for us, having a kid tightened up any Excuse Loopholes thus making an Exit Strategy nearly impossible now.

It's no big deal for X is say "Hey, we're going to the park (or Kinko's or the grocery store or for a walk or for coffee). Do you want to go?". It's nice to have a husband is so comfortable with our kid and I am still surprised and saddened at how many guys there are out there who aren't comfortable taking their kids places. My only complaint about X is that he is an Early Bird, so when I am out and about with my friends, I turn into a total pumpkin at Midnight. Regardless, it's nice to have some Free Time at home ALONE when X takes Arun out. When Cousin J comes to babysit, it's always best if I get the hell out of the house. Object Permanence has rode into town and thus, if I stick around, Arun is well aware that I am still THERE lurking about and not with him. Sometimes, I miss having the house all to my own little lonesome self.

So last night, X asked if I wanted to head out with them and I said "No, go ahead". The minute the door closed, I grabbed a glass of wine and my latest issue of Royalty magazine (just like US Weekly, only with a better gene pool.) Then, I headed upstairs to run a bath. Bliss. Although, I'll admit that when they came back and Arun scampered up to the tub to splash in the water, that was pretty damned awesome as well.

August 17, 2006

Egads, what is he?

So, I am sending off the application for Arun’s certified birth certificate - I was given something from the hospital and that is what I have been using while traveling, but I need something state official-esque for his passport. As I was filling out the application, I came to a blank labeled “Race”. Frankly, I was dumbfounded. Sure, I love to make Snide Asides about my little half-breed demi-desi, but in reality, I don’t think of him as Either/Or. While my finger itched to list him as ”Asian" for future scholarship possibilities, or ”bug-eyed freak” as a joke, or hell, even ”Hybrid” in light of our pending Energy Crisis, that just seemed Wrong.

But, is he White? Is he Asian? Is he Eurasian? Why does it even matter? I wasn’t sure what to write, so in the end, I scribbled ”Human”.

The New Age of Identity Theft

Don't fret, babycakes. Daddy will buy you a new one.

August 15, 2006

How do the wheels go?

I have seen the Future and sadly, it's in the form of an anthropomordic train.

I am sitting here at a Starbucks (HEY, don't judge. It's not my Choice. This place is right down the street and I hate wasting Precious Babysitting Time DRIVING to someplace that serves RealCoffee) and there's this 3 year old boy who must be able to smell the fact that I am the Mother of a Boy because he keeps coming around and pulling out all of his creepy-assed Thomas the Train crap.

I had forgotten about Thomas and his equally disturbing Wheeled Sidekicks.

Sometimes, I feel incredibly underequipped to have a Boy. I am hoping to have a boy who will be obsessed with science and dinosaurs and bugs and pleaseohpleaseohplease Harry Potter. I mean, I can handle Hot Wheels, but that is about the extent I am interested in Transportation if my own LeadFoot isn't in charge of it. But Arun? Is already showing a fascination with wheels - even the ones on his stroller and high chair.

I am terribly frightened.

Isn't admitting your Hypocrisy the first step?

Dear Elmo,

It seems, I owe you an apology. You see, back in my days of Armchair Parenting, I swore you would never grace our TV. I questioned your use of 3rd person and even pondered, "What, does he think he is Royal or something?" Furthermore, I have to confess that I have been referring to you as that "little red fuck" and for that, I am most regretful.

Today, I witnessed a miracle in Your Name as I watched my baby boy giggle in unadulturated glee while bouncing up and down with excitement. I have seen the Light and it is You. As such, you have been duly added to our DVR - welcome to the family. I hope you can find it in your little furry heart to forgive me my trespasses.


August 13, 2006

What television, music, movie or book from my childhood
am I excited about sharing with Arun?

The Lovely Mrs. Davis has started a Blogosphere-wide meme of sorts. In celebration of Sesame Street’s 37th anniversary, she asks “What television, music, movie or book from your childhood are you excited about sharing with your own children? (you can find the complete post here.) As usual, this Rancid Sheep is jumping on the Memed Bandwagon.....

Television: I don’t remember watching a ton of TV as a kid. We were able to receive 3 channels on a cloudy day, maybe 4-5 on a clear day (I didn’t know the glory of cable until my sophomore year of college). However, like most, I grew up on a healthy diet of Schoohouse Rock, Sesame Street and Electric Company (I have bought the Sesame Street Beginnings DVDs, the Schoolhouse Rock DVDs and they rock HARD. I haven't invested YET in Electric Company, but definitely will be). Like many other Heathen Families of yore, Rocky and Bullwinkle were the saving grace of my Depraved Soul on Sundays (sorry ‘bout that, Jesus). Cartoon-wise, I am freakishly CRAZY about the Loony Tunes , Woody Woodpecker, Jetsons, Pink Panther, Tom & Jerry and my Secret 2nd Grade Lover, Jonny HubbaHubba Quest. Of all TV, I am most insanely excited about sharing cartoons and animation with Arun. Don't even get me started on the cheesy stop-motion animated Christmas specials - I own ALL of those as well (Mr. Heat Miser was a crazy kind of HOT, eh?). (Rancid Tangent: I have never understood where the Disney fascination comes from - am I the only kid who never watched Disney as a kid? Furthermore, WHERE did you find Mickey anyway? He wasn’t coming through OUR airwaves. Did he come through yours?)

Music: ...blink...blink....crickets in the distance..... I don't remember any kiddie music from my youth! When Arun was born, I could eek out Row, Row, Row Your Boat and Baa Baa Black Sheep (his favorite one, even now), but I was quickly reduced to singing Happy Birthday in English AND Spanish in order to my shower fully completed (GOD HELP ME when I needed to shave my legs because that repertoire just wasn't enough, believeyoume.... Eventually, we got a Baby Tad and the little green toadie helped me out with learning some new ones.) SO, when I was a kid, I listened to what my parents listened to, which was the Eagles, Led Zeppelin, Linda Ronstadt, Herman's Hermits, the Doobie Brothers, etc. I specifically remember crooning to Ronstadt's "It's so easy to fall in love" at a tender age, not knowing the full, heart-breaking ramifications that would come in my college years. Anyway, I will probably do what my parents did, so I can confess that I do look forward to sharing my adult music tastes with Arun (...cough..Pink Floyd...cough..). And he may hate my blogging about this later, but I can report that he already LOVES dancing to Madonna.

Movie: Since I am trying to keep this to things from MY childhood (hence, the Huge Gaping Black Hole that swallowed Everything Pixar and Harry Potter along with Wallace and Gromit), I am drawing a blank. We lived in the country and simply did not see many movies. What I remember most is The Wizard of Oz and Gone With the Wind being the HUGE television events, but I don't really remember liking the Wizard that much because the book was far superior. And honestly? I can see how racist Gone With the Wind is now, so I wouldn't want Arun seeing that until he is a bit older. Also, don’t laugh, but I DO remember seeing Grease when it was originally released in the theatre. However, that doesn’t really seem appropriate Childhood Fare, either.

Book: This, by far is the hardest to pare down - I could write an entire post just on books alone. First, I have a boy and well, last I checked, I am a girl, of sorts. So, this leaves out many, many of my favorite "girl books" such as Trixie Belden, Nancy Drew, the Katie John Series, Rosamund du Jardin, Dana Girls, Laura Ingalls Wilder. One of my favorite gender neutral series was the ValueTales line. They were a lovely set of books that had different character traits attributed to an historical figure and the book would be a shortened version of their life story. My grandma bought these books for me and I would read them everytime I visited her. I have them now and have been anticipating sharing them with my children ever since I lovingly unpacked them and stored them on my very own bookshelf. I did read Hardy Boys so hopefully, Arun will be interested in those. Beverly Cleary has some great gender-neutral books, too. Another favorite is a 1962 book called Silly Mother by Lois Duncan - I still have my copy and still like to read it. I also still have both of my Amazing Facts books - they are well worn and I certainly hope that Arun wears them out even further. And finally, Wizard of Oz. I read this over and over as a kid - what a lovely, fantastical book that really stretches the imagination. Also, do NOT mistake me for the sort to push "boy vs. girl" stuff. If Arun shows the slightest interest in Trixie or Nancy, I think I will have died and headed straight up to St. Peter. I will be ALL OVER THAT SHIT because the Trixie Belden series has some awesome boy role models. But Nancy Drew? Not so much, let's face it, Ned was utterly whipped and Nancy was totally running THAT show. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Magazines: I added my own category - hope that doesn't break the rules. I LOVED the magazine "Jack & Jill". It had the added benefit of coming in the MAIL with MY name on it - I remember how much fun it was to go and check the mail and find something FOR ME in there for a change. I also can't wait to share comic books with Arun - some of my favorites were Archie (a guilty pleasure I still buy occasionally), Spiderman, and Richie Rich. And when he's old enough to appreciate the fine mix of Cynicism, Satire and Sarcasm that is Mad Magazine, I will definitely be cracking out those along with Cracked.

Ah, the memories.

How about you? If you have children, what are you Sharing? If you don't have children, what are you excited about Sharing? If you don't have kids, never plan on having kids and/or actively Hate Other People's Kids, what are you Sharing with your cat? Anyway, if you blog about it, feel free to Share the link in the Comments.

Happy Birthday, Sesame Street.
Thanks for all the past memories and the future ones yet to be had.

A cautionary tale of how little Michael’s mother was so stressed out that she was putting Michael's fire engine in the refrigerator and the baby’s bottle away in the toy box. Michael’s father suggests that he start helping out around the house which he does to full effect because Mother all of sudden has time to bake a chocolate cake. Perhaps, her "nerve" pills started to kick in? How much you wanna bet that Michael grows up to be an emotional eater?

Growing up, I didn’t just love Katie John, I wanted to BE Katie John (when I was pregant, Katie was in the running for girls' names, but now I have TWO friends who have claimed that name and now Curious Katie will be nevermore.) Katie John was so fearless, spunky, obnoxious and just plain COOL. I was so jealous that she got to live in a big, spooky house.

This set of books (there are two) started me on a path towards a Lifelong Fascination with all things Trivia. I read both books over and over and over and over - the other book has no cover now, hence the reason for scanning the 2nd one, as opposed to 1st. Over the years, I have gathered quite a collection of "facts" books and these two were the genesis.

I just ADORED the 60s teen romance books - they rode around in jalopies in their dungarees! How daddio was THAT? Although, I was always wondering why they couldn’t go on dates because they had to stay home to “wash their hair” - what boy would believe a lame excuse like that? How long could it possibly take to WASH YOUR HAIR? It wasn't until years later that I would unravel the mystery of the Shampoo n’ Set.

August 10, 2006

Does something smell phishy around here?

So, some Asshole Phisherman went phishing in my husband's email account and DUDE, he caught himself a big 'un. ......sigh....... I am not necessarily mad at X, but the latent data security analyst in me is screaming "How could you fall for that??!!?!?!" The thing is, X is actually quite savvy in the technical arena and usually knows what he is doing. I suspect the Asshole Phisherman merely caught X on a Slow Mental Day. Fortunately, our savings account wasn't wiped clean, we noticed the transfer immediately, and we should have our stolen money back shortly. Of course, now I am paranoid as to what else they are going to do to us - the Phisherman had access to our on-line bank statements which have all sorts of juicy details about us. I suppose I need to start contacting the credit bureau people. This does not bode well for my Paranoid Personality, folks.

So, Internet, take it from me, when you receive an email from anyone, DON'T USE THE LINK IN THE EMAIL. Open a new window and use your normal e-route.

Bad daddy!

August 9, 2006

Should I have told her?

I have a friend who is going into the hospital tonight to be induced/helped along with the delivery of her baby. She is due 8/19, but is going early because of her gall bladder. Hands down, this has been one of the most difficult pregnancies I have witnessed. So to say that she is "ready for this baby to just get here already" is a bit of an understatement. When I talked to her last night, I just felt like I had SO many things to tell her, bits of assvice, things to share. I remember my own last days in mid-October last year, standing on the Presipice of one of the biggest journeys of my life. The excitement. The anticipation. The gut-wrenching fear. However, I tried to keep my Pearls of Mothering Wisdom to myself. After all, isn't that part of the fun? Discovering all the Wonders for yourself? But here's what I would have liked to tell her......

That when you first see your baby you might be so pumped up on drugs and adrenaline that it might not be like one of those scenes in all the movies and television. You may be shell-shocked and think "Wow, what a sweet, adorabe baby. She's mine? For real?"

That bonding with your child is a life-long process. It doesn't happen just because you breastfeed or hold her or kiss her or wipe her butt or carry her in a sling 24/7 or co-sleep with her. It's a lifetime of Shared Experiences beginning with many of those things I just mentioned.

That you can never, ever take too many pictures of your baby.

That you will feel so vulnerable and exposed when you realize exactly how much of your heart is wrapped up in your daughter. It may even terrify you. Furthermore, you will have to swallow the frustration over the fact that you can't completely protect her from every disaster.

That sometimes in the wee hours of the morning you will doubt your Love but don't dwell on it or feel guilty about it because 8:00 am is just around the corner and somehow, someway Love gets a boost at precisely that hour.

That breastfeeding is one of the most painful, frustrating yet ultimately wonderous experiences you can have with your baby.

That taking a nap curled up with your baby is a Peaceful Calm like no other. Also? Having one cat curled up in your knees and another against your back is just Gooey Icing.

That taking a shower, putting a minimum of makeup and wearing decent clothes EVERYDAY is crucial to your self-esteem. Letting your appearance go by the wayside is a Slippery Slope that is best avoided.

That you may look at many of your former hobbies with a casual, detached curiousity. Like, " Hmmmm, I used to actually HAVE TIME to count stitches and rows? I'm lucky to get a scarf done these days." Don't fret over Lost Hobbies - you'll have time for all of them again someday - just pick the most important ones for the time being.

That being a Good Mother is all about Ideas, not Answers. Get Ideas from ALL of your friends, then mix n' match according to your baby.

That some Baby Topics are best left Un-Googled.

That in the beginning, you will want to change her outfits several times a day because she is just TOO DAMNED CUTE in all of them.

That your relationship with your husband will change and morph into something like it's never been. You will see sides of each other that you never knew existed but this doesn't have to be a Bad Thing. I've seen you and your husband - you will probably be closer than ever before.

That while I appreciate your offer to sew me a baby sling while you are on maternity leave, I know very well that your maternity leave is going to FLY by. I would rather you just enjoy these early months with your daughter.

That in the first few weeks it's best to unapologetically focus on yourself and your baby. Concentrate on getting all healed from the delivery so that you can get to 100% more quickly. Don't be a Dumbass like me.

That when you are healed 100%, try to get out of the house every single day. Even if it is to just pick up bread or milk. Damned Straight, sitting in a house all day with a baby can do a serious number on your Mental Health.

That it is imperative to surround yourself with Good Mothering Examples - the sort of gals that are GOOD for your Mothering Self Esteem, the sort of gals who don't COMPARE and don't COMPETE. If you find yourself in a group that Compares and Competes, get the fuck OUT. Stat.

That just when you think you have it all Figured Out, your baby will Change the Rules. And they tend to give little to no warning. They are Sneaky like that, those babies.

That ultimately, YOU KNOW YOUR BABY BEST. Can I say that again, for effect?? You know your baby BEST. Also, notice that I said she is YOUR baby. So, gracefully accept advice, wrap your brain around it, put it in your Back Pocket for later consideration and then do what YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH DOING. This will sometimes even include your doctor. And often, your mother-in-law.

That even the Darkest of Days are worth it for moments like these:

August 8, 2006

Seriously. Is it that big of a Shock that Lance Bass is Gay?

And that Mel is a Bit Crazy? And that Paris is boring and still Known for Nothing and the Stars ARE Blind because haven't they figured it out yet? And that Nicole Ritchie's purse is actually carrying HER around? And that tapered jeans are back in style? And that Black is BACK? (Whoa - did it really ever Leave?) Or that Pamela Anderson Lee Rock Whatever's breasts appear to be Bigger than ever? Speaking of cleavage, if Pamela can splash her boobs all over the Covers of every gossip rag which are displayed prominently throughout the grocery stores and airports everywhere, then why can't I discreetly breastfeed my baby under a BLANKET without getting Stares and Glares? Or maybe, passerbys were just pissed that I was rifling through an US Weekly while feeding my kid. Whatever.

Ahhh, it's good to be back. But it was good to be in Boston. Fortunately for us and Unfortunately for S and A, we feel real comfortable at their house. Sleeping in their cozy spare bedroom, using their computers, eating their food, drinking their wine. Hells Bells, driving their CAR. Need a place to stay during your next trip to Boston? Just email me and I can pass along S and A's info - you can't beat Friends like them.

Anyway, the rest of the trip went like this:

Saturday, we had a very leisurely day - ate breakfast, went to a Barnes and Noble to hang out, then ate at a Chinese restaurant where actual Chinese people were eating. Did you get that, Internet? Chinese people eat in Chinese restaurants, too! It was a place called Sichuan Gourmet and I was the only White Person in the joint. It was unlike any Chinese food I have ever had. Perhaps, because it was Authentic? This place was so spicy that all four of us were sweating. Definitely not for the faint of heart nor a 10 month old baby (much to his chagrin). Later that day, S and A had to accompany S's brother to meet a potential Marriage Match. I can't go into too much detail because I've been BlogBlocked, but I will say this - most Americans have a very simplistic view of arranged marriages where they assume the parents say "Here's your girl" and that's the end of it. Most of the cases I have seen follow a much more complex pattern that involve families meeting, coffee dates, dinner dates, phone calls and emails, etc. Anyway, while S and A went with The Brother, X and I hung out at their house and made ourselves really comfortable by briefly locking ourselves out of the house and managing to find a way back in, but not until after the screen door fell off its rails. After S and A got home, we went to eat at a place in Somerville called The Kebab Factory - a funky, cool place that served kebab fusion. When I got over the fact that the kebabs weren't traditional, it was a great dining experience. After that, we went back to the house where the Consumption of Wine commenced.

Sunday, we headed out to Ipswich and Crane Beach. After that, we went back to the house where the Consumption of Wine commenced, again. Somewhere in the night, after Much Wine, I invited S and A for a Traditional White People Thanksgiving with MY FAMILY replete with promises of turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce and a Talent Show. They, having consumed Much Wine themselves, ACCEPTED. Who's the bigger Sucker? Stayed tuned in November.

Monday, everyone needed to work, so Arun and I headed out to Salem. I have driven through Salem twice before and actually, my first experience with Salem was one of Sheer Panic. In October 2002, I attended a conference in Cambridge and X was going to fly in for the weekend so we could go Leaf Peeping. Since I had an entire day to burn before heading up to Manchester to pick him up, I went to Marblehead for the day, then drove back through Salem on my way back to New Hampshire. What I didn't count on in my careful timing was coming to a screeching halt in Salem because of the Halloween Traffic. I did make it to the airport in time, but it was close. Anyway, I have always wanted to actually GO TO Salem as a destination, so Monday was a great opportunity for it. Unfortunately, Arun was fast asleep by the time we got there so I couldn't get out of the car. Damn, that kid really cramps my style sometimes. So, from what I could see through the car windows, Salem was a neat town. I feel sorry for the folks that live there who have to put up with Dumbasses like me creeping through their beautiful, tree-lined streets snapping off Stalkerish Photos.

Anyway, lots of Flickrage to be had. Here's a Snappage Sample:

Long Wait at The Long Wharf

He was all Happiness and Rainbows until we got in line with The Screaming Kids who I swear taught him the Bad Attitude that was to manifest itself shortly. It made the decision to leave the Aquarium Line all that much easier.

I, Robot

Apparently, BeanTown was a bit of a snoozer for him.

Life is Good.

You'd be Giggling too if you had a FOUR hour nap and a chauffer at your Beck and Call with 24/7 Commitment-Free Boobage.

Actually, Ice Cream means No Scream

Like all good Indian Uncles, A is well-versed in the Art of Spoilage. I'm surprised Arun even agreed to come back to Kansas City with us.

Paul Bizarre

He was pissed that I took his picture, but um, I'm not the Dipshit in Costume, now AM I?

Pink Stink

I came across this Pepto-Dismal Inspired Disaster while meandering through the Boston Commons. How much you wanna bet the Bride uttered the very words Bridemaids Everywhere dread hearing? However, I ask of you, Gentle Reader -- where, oh where the fuck WHERE, will they ever wear these again?

August 5, 2006

How far is TOO far?

Note to the Woman with the Afrolicious Hair on the MBTA Inbound Redline, late Friday Morning: I am truly sorry that my baby boy kept grabbing your beautiful hair. Seriously - your hair was GORGEOUS, an Image to Behold. And my boy? He simple could not resist The Glory that was your hair.

Okay - this Blogging Whilst Vacationing thing is pretty cool - I don't enjoy when I come back from vacation and feel the need to do One Monster Musing that details the trip. You see, I actually peruse my archives periodically because in the grand scheme of things, this blog is pretty much for ME and I like to reminisce. Yeah, having an audience really helps with the Motivation Factor, but 10 years from now? I am going to be very appreciative of this. And this is why I bring myself to posting about Purse Purchases. At first, I felt sheepish that I had written about it because it felt Braggish. However, I really DO want to remember that time in 2006 when my husband pushed me to purchase a silly purse because he knows how much I adore a good handbag. He understands that right now, there isn't much glamour in my life and that if a purse can brighten my day while schlepping around diapers, then So Be It. After all, it's hard to be TOO impressed with oneself when you primarily wear Keds and capris.

Friday turned out to be an interesting day. Everyone except Arun and I had to work, so I decided it would be best to just take him into Boston. X dropped us off at the subway, so riding that provided for some pretty fucking cool Entertainment Mileage FOR ME as I watched Arun's big ole bug eyes get Buggier. Sadly, the subway quickly lost its cache when we hit stop #3 in an 11 Stop Journey that included TWO line changes. Which also proved quite unfortunate for the Afrolicious Beauty seated right next to us.

We finally made it to the New England Aquarium. We stood in line for a good 20 minutes, waiting for the privilige to purchase $18 tickets when I realized that I was already tired of the Buggy Brigade. I just didn't feel like fighting the Good Fight with all the other strollers, screaming kids, tired parents. So, I left the line and walked over to Faneuil Hall/Marketplace to hang out. Then, I meandered over to the Boston Commons and walked around there. Then, I strolled over to Copley Square. Then, I walked over to Beacon Hill and wandered around there for a bit before heading back over to the Boston Commons again. Then, I got back on the subway, went to Harvard and walked around THERE before meeting everyone for dinner, where the restaurant was also in Cambridge where we again, WALKED. "Someone" can attest to the fact that I EARNED my Molten Chocolate dessert that evening. Why all the Walking? Arun fell asleep at the very beginning, Faneuil Hall, and didn't wake up until we were in Beacon Hill - he slept for nearly 4 hours. I knew he needed the sleep, so I was willing to walk, walk, and walk if that was what it took because the poor kid was worn out after our fiasco with the Chicago layover.

So, while I feel sad that Arun missed out on my Favorite City (AKA, the One City that X Could Convince Me to Leave My Crazy Family For), I was very excited that I got to walk so much. It reminded me of my first trip to Boston, back in 1991 when I came to visit friends. We were staying in a crappy, run-down apartment near Fenway. We were really poor college students and either walked or took the Metro everywhere. Yesterday brought back a lot of sweet memories from that first trip.

The other nice thing about yesterday, is that I was able to take my time - if I felt like it, I would just sit and People Watch. As a bonus, with Arun sleeping, I also got to munch my Vendor Food in peace without two little freeloadin' hands clawing desperately at my grub. There was also a nice farmer's market going on in Copley Square, so I hung out there for quite awhile. I did walk through the Trinity Church which was absolutely breathtaking. I haven't been in a church for quite awhile...cough....cough..... Even X commented that I probably drove God to Drink when I walked through the doors.

Anyway, the highlight of the trip was when someone asked me for directions to the Arlington station. As a tourist, I ALWAYS take it as a compliment when someone asks me how to get somewhere. Of course, I totally blew My Cover when I pulled out my guidebook to point her off in the right direction.

August 4, 2006

Don't clams live in the sea, too?

We pondered this yesterday, as we sat at Bob's Clam Hut on Route 1 in Kittery, Maine feeding our son clam strips. You see, all the Wise Baby Tomes solemnly state that maybe you shouldn't feed your 9.5 month old baby "seafood", or "fish", "shellfish". They don't mention "clams" or his little buddy "scallops". Anyway, our boy hasn't clutched this throat yet, so I think we are safe.

We ended up arriving in Boston at 5:00 AM. We sat on the runway for over 3 hours - it became this weird vortex of time continuem where everything stood still. Arun slept the entire time and we took turns holding him. Overall, Arun handled it all like a champ - we had a few issues when we landed in Manchester where he decided that No, he wouldn't really like to ride in his carseat onto Boston. "Thanks, but no thanks - I'll pass this time." sigh Then, when we did get to Boston, he decided that No, he wouldn't really like to go to sleep just yet.

Yesterday morning, we got ready and headed up to Kittery for some outlet mall shopping - S and A had to work, so this was a good use of our time. It also afforded Arun the opportunity to get in some MUCH needed shut-eye. We are driving S and A's car and it just happens to be Ridiculous, too. It's like we're tooling around New England in OUR car, except now it has the Wood Grained interior package.

While in Kittery, X got a phone call that some business associates of his could meet us for dinner, after all so we ended up staying in Kittery and going to Robert's Grille and Seafood Market. The food was great except for one thing. It just so happens that "Robert" and "Bob" of the Clam Hut just ACROSS THE STREET are one and the SAME. So, essentially, we ate the same thing for dinner as we ate forlunch at drastically INCREASED prices.

So, we came back to Boston pretty fucking full of CLAMS. The rest of the evening we spent drinking some wine and hanging out with S and A. S had a fun DVD full of Bollywood videos, much to A and X's chagrin. In fact, they both headed to bed early to escape the Cheese.

Anyway, today everyone here has Things To Do Work-Related, including X, so I am having him drop me off at the Metro. Arun and I are going to go into downtown Boston for the day to hang out. Arun likes the aquarium at my gym's nursery, I wonder what he'll think of the one in Boston?

Oh, and coincidentally, there just "happened" to be a Coach Outlet in Kittery. Mix in a 60% discount? I think I heard some angels on high croaking away in the distance. So, um, yeah. I got a diaper bag, of sorts.

August 3, 2006

Are we there yet?


We are sitting through the 2nd of TWO Thunderlicious Lightening Storms at Midway in Chicago. Our flight, thus far, is 3 hours delayed, nearly 2 of which have been spent on the PLANE on the RUNWAY in the STORM. Fortunately, Arun could give a rat's ass what is going on as long as one of us holds His Royal Hirsute Highness while he slumbers. Also, a shout-out to Sprint PCS Wireless is in order.

I can't help but recall the Reader's Digest article that I just read while coming back from Oakland. The very same article that detailed "Storm Safety" and included such maxims as not talking on the phone, avoiding tall trees, and taking showers during such storms. However, they didn't say anything about sitting in an enormous tube of steel. I guess the teeny rubber wheels will protect us, eh?


August 2, 2006

Why don't baby clothes come in black?

I still can’t stop thinking about how awesome BlogHer was this year. Perhaps it's because this year, I had ankles and could Partake in the Free Drink. Still, I think it was more than that - definitely the Sisterhood. Swag didn't hurt, either. Someone asked about all the swag we received and here are just a few things: coolest tote bag I've ever received at a conference, a Bon Jovi CD, a free downloadable Yahoo! music thingie for 30 days, a Free Weight Watcher’s Online thingie for 3 months, a Crabtree/Evelyn set (that is SO good I will probably BUY another set when finished), a cool Yahoo! pad/pen set, a 64MB USB jump drive, a travel wine corkscrew, various t-shirts, and condoms. Yep, CONDOMS. For all the Mommy Bloggers, I guess.

So, we’re off to Boston today to visit our friends S and A. This will be Trip #6 with the Overlord and All The Necessary Accoutrements That His Majesty Might Require. Folks, we’re Going for the Gold on this one. You see, the past five trips have gone so amazingly well - he hasn't Freaked Out yet and he usually sleeps the entire flight while I plow through ragazines. But this trip? Includes a LAYOVER which means it will take forever to get there. And these days, my baby does Big Boy Poops with complementary Big Boy Facial Expressions. Do I dare mention that we had hummus, chicken shwarmah and lentils last night for dinner? Not my best Mothering Decision, perhaps. Also, we will be gone for 5 nights as opposed to the usual 2-3 night variety. Gulp. Fortunately, S and A are close friends AND they are Indian because frankly? The Indian community is SO much more Family Friendly than the American community. S even called last night to see if she might need to buy DIAPERS for us and to see what sort of food that Arun might need.

I need to actually start packing, so I am going to throw out some more Slapdashed Snappage. There is also more on Flickr as well. Be sure to check out the snap of Amy trying to woo my sweet boy away with all her Baby Bling. For sure, he saw that necklace and immediately leaned in for her.

Traitors, the both of ‘em.

Arun and I on the beach at Carmel. Although she claims otherwise, I suspect my mom Photoshopped this one because my initial reaction to a snap of me is normally that of Horror. This didn't offend me. Too much.

Just a nice Kansas Boy wailing because he feet happened to touch The Ocean. My mom SWEARS she didn't Photoshop these. I WANT HER CAMERA......

On the way to San Jose, we passed this town that kept advertising Garlic and Sweet Cherries. We couldn’t remember the name of it, so I kept calling it Garlic Town. We stopped at this store and that’s how we found out about the Garlic Festival, which was one of the highlights of our trip. GARLIC = YUM.

Surrender Dorothy and Average Jane with Yours Truly. This was PRIOR to our hot dates with El Vino Blanco and his smokin' hot brother El Vino Rojo.

DUDE. My kid plays with zucchini. Don’t underestimate the power that is The Squash.....

Seriously - I've got Mother of the Year LOCKED IN.