November 30, 2005

How Thankful Am I?


Thanksgiving was really nice - as much as I like to gripe about my family, in truth, they are your typical family. Pleasantly dysfunctional to a level that you can poke gentle fun (Note: I am discussing my DAD'S family. My Mom's family? A different story). Anyway - let’s face it - ALL families have their issues. No one is perfect, but you can often hide things from the general public - not quite so easy to do with relatives. So, I’ll go as far as to say that I did enjoy sharing the little monkey with the family on Thanksgiving. He was the hit of the party and I even scored a babysitter! Yep - even though I quit work to stay home full-time, I am already getting a babysitter. I was very conflicted about this, but X was the one who insisted I get somebody. He is traveling so much, it actually eases his guilt somewhat. It’s a pretty sweet gig - my dad’s cousin’s daughter’s daughter (got that??) is in high school, has her own car, and lives just mere blocks from me. I casually mentioned that I was looking for a babysitter in her presence (yes, I WAS hinting) and she eagerly raised her hand. She is coming 3 days a week for just 2 hours - which is perfect! It gives me just enough time to get in a good workout at the gym AND even enough time to run a quick errand like a trip to the grocery store, etc. It’s a good gig for HER, because she has some steady money now, is in a safe environment where her own mother doesn’t have to worry about her and gets her homework done. Of course there is the added benefit that I am leaving my precious monkey with an actual family member, as opposed to just any old teenager. Since I was able to sneak in an early visit to my doctor last week, I got sign off for exercise and I was pretty anxious to get on it. So, although I feel very spoiled, I was able to quickly quell those feelings after our first session on Monday. Being able to go the gym and get in a good heart-pumping workout made all the difference.

I can't believe Chimp Boy is SIX WEEKS old. It's amazing to me how the time has flown. He is outgrowing clothes left and right, he's SMILING now and is even starting to coo. I think the most shocking part of motherhood so far is how much I am loving it. Of course, I thought I would enjoy it or I wouldn't have bothered with it, right? However, I just didn't know HOW MUCH I would have fun with it. Even after the hardest nights, I still get up every morning ready to start the day.

Of course, now that he is smiling, it makes it all the easier - wouldn't you say?

November 28, 2005

Fit to be a Mother? Or Just Fit to be Tied?

As promised - the Assvice Post. I have gotten unsolicited advice from a wide range of people - grandmas, great-aunts, my cleaning lady and even strangers in the streets - in stores such as Lowe’s*. This post was not nearly as fun to write and did not make for the funny material I had hoped it would. Actually, some of these just plain pissed me off. Therefore, this is more of a Rancid Rant than a Rancid Rave. Ah well......

“Give Him Rice Cereal and He’ll Sleep Through the Night!”
This old wive’s tale was offered when I hadn’t even complained about sleep deprivation, thus making it the most truant of all the Assvice I have received. I am not giving a tiny baby SOLIDS. I don’t care if it that was the thing du jour in the 70s or not. After all, back then it was also okay to drink and smoke indiscriminately while pregnant.

“If You Keep Holding That Baby, You’re Going to Spoil Him Rotten!”
The stupidity of this little gem is mind-boggling. Um, yeah, SURE - snuggling my little monkey and giving him love and kisses is going to make him rotten. HUH?

”Don’t Wake that Baby Up! Let Him Sleep Through the Night if He Wants!”
This treasure was given after I mentioned that I had to set my alarm so I could wake up to feed the baby. What was most infuriating about this obnoxious comment is that my baby was fucking JAUNDICED. Guess what? Jaundiced babies are listless and just want to sleep. Furthermore, the way to get rid of the jaundice is to FEED HIM so he can POOP the bad stuff OUT. Letting him sleep through the night would just make him even MORE jaundiced. Believe me, a new mommy with a yellow baby does NOT need to hear this shit.

"Don't Let that Baby Sleep with You (Insert Random Horriffic Event) )!"
I am not necessarily an advocate of Attachment Parenting or even co-sleeping. However, for now, having the kid sleep with us WORKS. He sleeps and more importantly, I sleep. My doctor was the one to point out that the U.S. and the Western World in general is the minority on the practice of separate beds. Anyway, since I don't plan on sleeping with my child while drunk or obese, he will be just fine. Besides, X himself was a co-sleeper and he came out fairly unharmed.

“That Baby Needs Socks on His Feet!”
Yes, he does. I guess sweating through a onesie AND a blanket which resulted in a heat rash means he is fucking COLD.

“Don’t Get Wind in the Baby’s Ears!”
What gets me on this one is that no dire consequence is offered. Indeed, what WILL happen if the baby does get wind in his ears?

"You Don't Need to Be Running Around with that Baby so Much!"
My being cooped up in a house with "that baby" for days on end can lead to no good. My guess it that we would end up having like our own little game of "Survivor" . Outwit? Outplay? Outlast? My money is on the kid.

”Keep that Baby out of the Wind or He’ll Get a Bellyache!”
This goody is so fucking stupid that I couldn’t even think of a sarcastic comment for it.

“Keep that Baby Inside!”
Yes, particularly since we know that fresh air and sunshine KILLS.

"You Don't Need to be Taking That Baby to (Insert Hip Urban Kansas City Location of your Choosing)! It's dangerous!"
Considering that someone DIED in my cushy suburban Target parking lot this past summer, I am willing to gamble a bit by going to the "shadier" places in Kansas City.

“Better Keep those Cats Away From that Baby”
Frankly, the cats are more concerned with where their next meal is coming from and ensuring that I am available 24/7 in my capacity as Doorman to the Felines. They could care less about the baby at this point. Of course, this indifference will fade as soon as the Monkey discovers the irresistable lure of a fluffy tail, but it’s not like the cats are going to try and exact some sort of revenge.

”Don’t Eat Spicy Food or the Baby Will Get Sick”
I’ll admit that as I hungrily wolfed down Thai food the very first day back home from the hospital, I saw a brief question mark hovering over that styrofoam takeout container . However, I quickly brought myself back to reality as I pondered, “What the fuck do women eat in Thailand?”.

“Don’t Let Anyone Hold Him at Thanksgiving Dinner or He’ll Get Sick!”
While I am not exactly a proponent of picking up dead birds and rubbing them in the Monkey’s face, a germ here or there at the hands of a loving relative is NOT going to hurt the kid.

“Don’t Swaddle That Baby Too Tight! (AKA,"Oh, Poor Baby - Your Mama is Squeezing You Too Tight!” )
Yes, I guess the kid is NOT BREATHING as opposed to merely sleeping peacefully.

*In another losing bout with Irony, I was the one to take my son to Lowe’s for the first time. In fact, I will be the ONLY one to ever take our son to Lowe’s, given the fact that all the freakin’ tools in the garage are MINE ALL MINE.

What am I doing?

Running around with my head cut off. I need to be in Lawrence for a Christmas Tree Festival by 1:00 pm. I still need to pump, take a shower, get dressed, get the kid dressed, and eat lunch all while fervently praying the kid cooperates in this mayhem. Which of course means that I will be a negligent mother and skip Tummy Time this morning. My kid probably won't start crawling until he's 2 years old at this rate which just goes to show you how early Failure can start happening in the game of life.

Why am I running late? The kid was fussy all day yesterday and wouldn't take a good long nap. Thank god for the Baby Bjorn or I would have gotten nothing done. He finally went down at MIDNIGHT. Then he woke up at 4:30, ate like a lumberjack, then slept until 9:30 am While I am not complaining about such a luxurious stretch of sleep, I was counting on my little Alarm Clock to get me up at 7:30 am.

Anyway, Assvice Post coming later tonight. Here's a Teaser:

That Baby Will Get Sore From Being Passed Around!"
Picture this: me yanking the kid from someone's arm while screeching indignantly "Stop it! You're making him sore!"

I am so not making this shit up!!

Update as I head for the door:
New Mommy Discovery I made this morning while getting ready. This is really no feasible or practical way to put on deoderant while the kid is strapped into the Baby Bjorn. Choice must be made:
1) Be Stinky
2) Wake the Kid Up

As Phil on the Amazing Race would say - "each with its own pros and cons".

November 21, 2005

What sort of monkey is THAT?

That would be a Howler Monkey. You’d be howling too if you were having such a bad hair day yourself.

Well, the little guy is definitely getting fussier - just as the 30 day warranty period from the hospital has expired, of course. No exchanges or returns on THIS model, for sure. I keep telling X that at least he isn’t colicky - it’s all about perspective, right? Fortunately, when we finally can get him down for the night, he is a pretty good sleeper. Regardless of which time we go to bed, he starts squawking for food at around 1 am, then around 4 am, then finally around 6:30 am - the past two nights he has actually skipped the 1 am feeding. Believe it or not, I can survive on this schedule. Although I am getting a little loopy and emotional from the sleep deprivation, I am not completely insane yet, which makes all the difference. The hard part is if I would just nap during the day, life would progress much more smoothly. However, I am NOT a napper - never have been. I HATE sleeping in the middle of the day.

Anyway, I am still compiling Assvice and realized that since I will be receiving a new batch of goodies this Thursday, I should wait til next Monday to post it. I am a little nervous about this Thanksgiving - it is my first one in my new role as a mother. Now, I have entered a new level in the familial hierarchy - one in which I am no longer important and the kid has superceded me. It also has opened the door to brand-new criticisms, judgements, and comments. To make things extra Gooey Fun this year, Normal Olathe Grandma invited Crazy Leavenworth Grandma to our Thanksgiving shindig. The minute CLG heard there was going to be a TALENT SHOW, she started polishing her guitar. Put it this way - I am actually READING THE INSTRUCTION MANUAL TO MY CAMCORDER. This MUST be recorded for posterity’s sake.

So, while I am looking foward to one of my favorite holidays, I am also a little trepid with dragging the kid. I will have to make sure that he is wearing a hat AND socks (even though he will be sweating up a storm) and that his ribs aren’t showing too much from my starving him. In my family, mothers can do no right. I have watched for years as my own mother bore these comments on her own mothering skills. I am also nervous about the whole "passing of the baby" - everyone is going to be pawing at "my precious". I am not a germo-phobe by any means - for example, the Shopping Cart Condom was NOT on my baby registry. I just don't relish the kid getting his first cold just yet.

The Moral of the Story:
When I get too anxious about my family, I remember Anne. In my early college years, I had a co-worker named Anne. We had absolutely nothing in common, and certainly didn’t hang out socially . I’ll go out on a Snobby Limb and declare that she was really quite boring. However, despite all the people that I DID hang out with at that particuar job, she is the one I remember to this day, nearly 15 years later. Every holiday, I am reminded of her. Why? Anne had no family whatsoever. She was an only child, her parents were only children -- any other distant relatives she have had were long deceased. As someone who grew up with a large extended family, this was shocking to me. Most holidays were spent agonizing over the schedule of how I was going to make it to 3-4 places within a 24 hour period of time (luckily, having the largest house myself now affords me the luxury of inviting everyone to visit ME). Anyway, hearing Anne's story made me appreciate my obnoxious, over-bearing, and judgemental family. And this is why I have to remember Anne at the beginning of every holiday season. They drive me apeshit, but at least I have them. sigh

Have a great Thanksgiving! I really DO enjoy the holidays and Thanksgiving in particular. It's like Christmas, but without all the commercialism of buying gifts and such.

November 16, 2005

Can something random still be planned?

In another desperate bid for a Monkey Free post, I present for you 20 Random Things About Me- an idea stolen from Diana over at Piffle . Why Memes are the proverbial low-man in the realm of Blogging Material, I will never understand. I think they are fun to read AND fun to write.

You be the judge:

1. I LOVE playing cards - my favorite games are Canasta , Cribbage , Euchre , and Russian Bank

2. I have a terrible temper, but it burns out quickly. I need to work on this, obviously.

3. I enjoy washing dishes and for years, used my dishwasher as a drying rack. Even though I now use the dishwasher regularly thanks to pressure from X, I still wash quite a few by hand.

4. I collect Mad Magazines - I have many vintage copies from the 60s and unashamedly, I still add to my collection.

5. I was a practicing Muslim for 4 years in my early 20s. I didn’t cover my head, but I did do the prayers in Arabic and some of the fasting during Ramadan. The Muslim call to prayer still brings tears to my eyes because it is so beautiful.

6. I am now a Catholic, but will still teach my children the basic principles of most of the major religions. I don’t think you go to heaven or hell based on what you BELIEVE, but rather on what you DO.

7. My favorite concert of all time was a Pink Floyd concert. And I was completely sober during it. Oddly, my own mother had better seats than I did at that very concert.

8. Going to Pompeii in 2003 was the fulfillment of a lifelong dream for me - I had always wanted to go since I had first read about the city . It was very surreal when I finally made it there after so many years of dreaming about it since I was a child.

9. I flip for sunflower seeds - I am very particular about the brand I buy, the freshness and the storage of them. My favorite way to spend an afternoon is with a good book and fresh bag of seeds. When I went to Pakistan, I took 6 pounds with me - 1 pound for each week there. I ran out in week 4 because I was reading so much during the hot daylight hours when we stayed in the house.

10. I am currently reading Bee Season by Myla Goldberg. It is excellent so far and will make for an insightful discussion topic in the book club for which I am reading it.

11. I just finished The Jane Austen Book Club by Karen Joy Fowler. It was a good book, but ironically I did not read it for a book club. Sadly, it would have been a great discussion topic and I wish I would have saved it for a book club selection.

12. In 1987, I won the award for “Outstanding Crew Member” at the McDonald’s in which I worked at the time. The plaque is hanging in my office right now.

13. I collect coins and paper currency. I have a pretty extensive foreign money collection - my two favorite coins are from Kenya and Israel. My two favorite pieces of paper money are from Singapore and Lebanon.

14. I love to drive fast. The fastest I have ever driven was 110 MPH. It scared the crap out of me, but it gave me the best adrenaline rush EVER.

15. It really irritates me when people automatically assume I don’t like dogs just because I am a cat owner. I LOVE dogs - I just haven’t had a lifestyle conducive to owning one lately.

16. I am currently listening to Madonna’s new album “Confessions on the Dance Floor”. It totally ROCKS.

17. I used to run Cross Country in high school and 10K races on the weekends. I didn’t really enjoy running long distance, but I loved the workout and had the best track seasons afterwards as a result.

18. Oprah irritates the crap out of me, but I still watch her.

19. In Junior High, some kids made fun of me by calling me Dictionary Girl because I used big words they didn’t understand. Little did they know, I was secretly proud of the nickname because I actually DID read the dictionary as they claimed.

20. My favorite currently running TV shows are Arrested Development, Everybody Loves Chris, My Name is Earl and Veronica Mars.

November 14, 2005

What have I learned?

Arun hit his 4 week milestone yesterday - I took some spare time ( Note: Spare Time = 3.3 Seconds these days) and thought about it. 4 weeks - Damn. It has flown by, but on the other hand, I can’t imagine Arun NOT being here. Not grunting to be held. Not seemingly permanently attached to one of my nipples. Not snuggling tightly into my chest, fast asleep and snoring. Not staring bug-eyed, utterly fascinated at the the world passing him by. Not filling yet another diaper.

So, anyway - What have I learned? Lots and lots. For brevity’s sake, I have pared it down to a Top Ten list.........................

10. It’s not a cliche - a heart can indeed, MELT. The most surprising part is not how often I “ooh and ahh” over the little Monkey, but how often I “ooh and ahh” over his little Daddy. To see the softer side of X ..... well - what can I say? sigh

9. Motherhood is not about having all THE answers - it’s all about having POTENTIAL answers. I call this concept the “Try, Try Again” Approach to Mothering. I feel very blessed that I have so many friends willing to share their experiences. Furthermore, I feel very fortunate to live in a country where so many valuable resources are available to new mothers - books, hotlines, great doctors, lactation consultants and easy connectivity to the Internet. When something comes up with Arun and I am fumbling around attempting Plan A, it is reassuring to know that there is a Plan B and even a Plan C available as options.

8. There is a crucial difference between the words “tired” and “exhausted”. Sleeping in a minimum of 3 hours shift leaves one merely tired. Anything less equals pure exhaustion.

7. Mommies can have meltdowns, also.

6. My body will never be the same. My breasts will never be perky again, my hips have permanently shifted, and my feet are a half size larger. The most shocking part is that I don’t even care.

5. I have a far stronger stomach than I thought. Poopy diapers, spit-up, and eye goop are not that gross, after all.

4. A newfound appreciation for Spare Time. Now, when I have Spare Time, I fly around the house like grease lightening. The Old Me squandered time like Paris Hilton does boyfriends. The New Me can get so much done in 10 minutes these days.

3. Who knew? I CAN be patient - even when faced with a screaming bogeyman at a mind-blowing 3:00am. X and I alike have been amazed by this new development in my personality.

2. Contrary to popular belief, iced coffee was not invented by Starbucks. Rather, it was probably the mastermind of a New Mommy who gave up hope of ever enjoying a hot cup of joe again and decided to take that cold cup to a new level.

1. Finally, it’s no contest. The #1 thing I have learned about motherhood so far, is that Arun is MY child and I know him better than anyone else at this point. Therefore, it is I who has to make the decision what is best for him. It is hard to do that while confronting Assvice left and right from well meaning friends, family, neighbors and strangers on the street. During Week #1, I first learned this lesson the hard way when I slightly disagreed with my doctor on something. Nevertheless, I tried to follow her insructions and ultimately was frustrated when it wasn’t working out. My doctor is totally awesome and I do love her approach to most things, BUT she doesn’t know my child like I do. In the end, I went with my gut and the problem was quickly solved.


This is Older Nephew with Arun. Older Nephew is SO PROUD of his boy cousin since he only had girl cousins until recently. As you can see, Older Nephew is used to hamming it up for the cameras!

November 8, 2005

Why is the Baby crying? Why is the Baby NOT crying?

My life is now a 24/7 Poker Game comprised of the above variations. If the kid is squawking, it means he is hungry, uncomfortable or bored. However, if the kid is NOT squawking it surely means he is not BREATHING and must be checked upon IMMEDIATELY. Either way, every hand dealt to me is a crappy one so I might as well just fold and hand over all my chips.

Luckily, if the kid IS squalling, these situations are easily remedied, although often, it means holding him. I have become very adept at doing many things around the house with one hand and have discovered that a glass of soymilk with a Kashi granola bar do indeed, constitute an acceptable meal.

Overall, the crying thing is interesting - it is certainly a form of communication with nuances all its own and is a situation where I am the Student and the kid is the Teacher. I am getting better at picking up the meaning of different cries which range from “I am HUNGRY and Your Nipples are MINE, Bitch” to “I am Seriously Freaking Out Here, Pick Me Up NOW” to “I Am Just An Attention Whore -- Sucka!”

Is this where I admit that there is nothing sweeter than a baby snuggling into your chest, calm and happy simply because YOU picked him up?

Nah, better not or you guys will think I am going soft.

November 7, 2005

Isn't Crazy Just Relative?

Except for the obligatory 3 Week Milestone Pic, I declare this Monday to be relatively Baby Free. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named will not be the 100% focus of this blog for a change. After all, we don’t want him to get an ego and think that my life revolves around HIM now. Heaven forbid. Anyway - let’s see what I can muster up that doesn’t involve nipples, crying, diapers or unforgivable cuteness at the hands of my hairy little monkey.

Crazy Contaminations: As promised - my Pet Peeve. I will try to keep my bitchiness to a minimum, but this has been a pet peeve of mine for a good 10 years. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until about a year ago that I had a blog in which I could release my frustration. This is regarding all the myths and misconceptions regarding influenza - the flu. Sadly, much of the general public is very confused about what the flu really is. Over the years, I have heard more than one person say “Oh, I had the flu over the weekend” or “Wow - I got the flu yesterday - I was puking all day.” It’s okay to say the “stomach flu” (although it is actually food poisoning or the rotovirus), it is not okay to merely say the flu”. Influenza can actually be a a very serious respiratory infection - it infuriates me how the media and the uninformed public trivialize this virus. Furthermore, the avian flu or “the bird flu” has much more potential than just being a great punchline for late night talk show hosts. If that strain of the virus is able to make the jump from human to human (as opposed to the current bird to human scenario) we could all be in a big pile of caca. In short, if you have a really bad cold, just say “cold” and if you have a day or two of bad puking/diarrhea, please say “stomach flu”. End of Rancid Rant.

Crazy Family Pushes the Insanity Envelope: Growing up, my grandma always hosted Thanksgiving and Christmas for her 6 siblings complete with spouses and progeny. Back then, there were only about 30 of us total, so we could all fit into her house. That number has grown to such an extent that we can’t all fit into one person’s house anymore. A few years back, one of my great-aunts thought it would be a great idea to just rent a hall for Thanksgiving - and a great idea it was. Very stress-free and we are able to spend at least one of the holidays all together (we still scatter a bit for Christmas). However, this year, my little Thanksgiving flyer not only includes a confirmation for a turkey (I volunteered to bake one this year), it also requests a piano solo for the TALENT SHOW. I shit you not! Someone came up with the oh-so clever idea that we should have various members of the family show their talents. While I will not be tickling the ivories for this event, I will certainly be bringing the digital camcorder! HOLY CRAP - this is gonna be GOOOOD.

Crazy Comedy: Laughter is not always the best medicine. While recovering from the Great Arrival of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, I happened upon a new method for gauging the “funniness” of the shows I watch on TV. By using my handy-dandy Stitch-ometer and determining the amount of pain felt while viewing such programs, I can verify that Everybody Hates Chris and My Name is Earl are the two most hilarious shows going on TV right now. The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and Extras (with Ricky Gervais on HBO) rank a very tight 2nd place.

Cagey Goes Crazy: Yesterday, I had my first Monkey Free outing. I let my hair down and went to the grocery store! and Borders! and Best Buy! Oh My! I’ll admit the best part was getting to drive the car without Precious Cargo. I could drive like a bat out of hell without fear that old Noodle Neck in the backseat would ruin all my fun.

Crazy Cats: Our cats, the Original Babies of the Rancid le Manse, are doing stellar. Thanks to that venerable veterinarian, Christine, over at The Rabbit Lived , I was able to verify my Feline Strategy was indeed reasonable - my sister and mom thought I was a lunatic. In short, as we brought all the baby crap into the house, we allowed the cats to explore freely - and yes, this meant we found cats sleeping in the crib, the bassinet, the bouncy seat, the activity gym thingie, the boppy and yes - baby blankets. I think being lax really paid off - NO, the cats are not in love with this newfound competition, but they are accepting. They have also quickly figured out that if I am nursing, this means that not only will I be stationary for a good 45 minutes but that I will usually have free hand for PETTING THEM. Everyone thinks their pets are little geniuses - but seriously, mine really are!

November 4, 2005

Who’s Your Daddy?

Arun will eventually realize after a quick perusal of his parent’s wedding photos that his daddy NEVER smiles for photos and always harbors a slightly trepid look when faced with a camera. No matter how happy the occasion. And yes, it is a good thing that X doesn’t read my blog and discover how casually I was willing to sacrifice HIS anonymity for the sake of Somewhat Interesting Post Material.

Things are still going well, which leaves me to wonder - what am I doing wrong? Why am I not walking around in a befuddled, sleep-deprived haze? Furthermore, while my free time has decreased quite a bit, I still manage to watch a bit of TV here and there, go on-line and hell - even READ. It’s crazy to think that it has been almost 3 weeks - it has flown by. I still can’t believe how much I am enjoying motherhood, though. It is SO fun. Yeah, I have my weepy moments, but usually they are late at night when I am tired (I am also still in some pain from recovering after the birth - it’s my own damn fault because I keep RUNNING around instead of LAYING around). Fortunately, every morning, I wake up out of the funk. It helps to have such an adorable, snugly baby to look forward to each day. Seriously. After years of deadlines, negative co-workers and mind-numbing jobs, a few dirty diapers pale in comparison. My ex-office mates at the Fed alone can out-whine Arun any day of the week - hands down.

Anyway, I realize this blog has turned into All Monkey, All the Time. Fear not - I have an actual non-baby related post rambling around in my head for next week. It’s a total Soapbox Post regarding a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I may even piss some people off with it. Gasp.

Have a great weekend!

November 1, 2005

Surely a food pantry could use some Skittles - right??

I have come to the sad conclusion that my days of hot, fresh coffee are over. Still, when I gaze into the little brown orbs of my son, I can’t help but think that cold, stale coffee ain’t so bad, either.

I have also determined that the makers of the Baby Bjorn are gods or geniuses or some combination of the two. Arun LOVES the Bjorn and immediately snuggles in for a nap when he is rounded up into it. This may help solve my dilemma for finding time to get online. I REALLY miss being online. I am lacking in my news knowledge and feel very much out of the loop. The stupid TV news channels do NOT cut it.

We had our 2nd doctor’s visit on Monday and it was an astounding success. The nurse declared me to be a “relaxed, informed mom”, which was heartening to hear. I’ll have to remember that the next time the rising panic in the back of my throat threatens to take over. Also, we found out that the little monkey weighs a whopping 8.5 lbs now. Yikes. His days of actual Newborn sized outfits are soon to be a thing of the past. I also managed to score an appointment with the doctor for my 6 week checkup EARLY - 5 weeks instead of the usual 6. I was particularly excited about this so I can get signoff even sooner to start going to the gym again. I find it odd that I am craving to go the gym like this - it’s not like I was THAT into exercising before, although I did enjoy it when I got around to it.

Finally, our first Halloween was a success as Arun and I handed out candy. All evening long, everyone cooed over my “baby skeleton”. Even the most hardened of surly teenagers couldn’t help but ooh and ahh over the little guy. I did screw up, though. Majorly. I did not give out the candy fast enough and I am now stuck with nearly 2 lbs of Skittles. Which I LOVE with a passon. It doesn't help that on Sunday, I discovered that I am at my pre-pregnancy weight now and this whole Skittles Debacle may throw a wrench in the whole matter. CRAP.

Anyway, I present for you Baby Skeleton - a costume inspired by his sonogram pics. I was going to make one from scratch, but luckily found one in a store for a mere 10 bucks.